Sweet Perfection

Soothing silence and the scent of fresh rain

Rushing water and singing birds

Soft green grass and a flawless world

Allow me to stay in my naive imagination

In this place of sweet perfection

Lacking darkness to sadden my soul

Escape from the rampant chaos life has become

Peircing screams and dieing parents

Honking horns and such foul language

Crimson pools and a troubled soul

Allow this to become the dream

This place of pain and torture

Let me not wake to a wounded world

Lacking imagination to brighten faces

Hell to so many others than just myself

Please God end me here

End me now

Let me stay in sweet perfection

Reviews

[Kaeru]

I liked this poem. It started out sweet and beautiful and turned sour and bloody and dark. I liked the two very different images that came into my mind. I pictured a meadow or a forest and that quickly turned to a murder scene, a car crash, a nightmare. There was such imagery here that allowed me to picture it crystal clear, which for many I can see as being a bad thing because most people don't want those images in their minds but I think it was kind of beautiful to see the change. At the end you kind of had a grey area between the two images that was almost at the meadow again but not quite. I loved it.

[Sami Khalil]

Nice poem .
I like the lines:
Lacking darkness to sadden my soul.

[Neronine]

When I read I like to play it in my head like a movie and your poem was a nice mix of beauty and suffering. You are a writer. "If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster." ~Isaac Asimov

[Poetic Beauty]

The last line sums up this whole poem quite well. the description allows me to see the horrific events unfold in my mind. I hope with time that these wounds begin to heal.

[Adelia Alighieri]

I don't think I wrote with such authenticity when I was a couple of years younger. You have a sharp edge to what you perceive, which is a rare talent. I love this piece, I'd love to read more from you!

[Mizuki Tsukiakari]

I love it. It's so dark with a small feeling of desperate hope at the end. I really enjoyed it.

[ZmH]

love this. dark, well written. great job
-zoe

[Vesa Lee]

Enchanting darkness...
I feel it pull me nearer and nearer, singing softly in my ear of all the beauty that lies in the shadows.
Chilling. Intoxicating.
Incredible work.
I look forward to reading more from you.

[Sumit Kumar Gupta]

What a griming piece of aureate writing. wonderfully written!! great work.!I really loved it.I think I am getting addicted to your frictional writing.bah aha!

[Sincerely, Alex]

Amazing.
I really like this. It's so....beautifully sad, and kind of has a dream-like quality.
Really nice write.

Alex

[Alisa_the_fluff_ball]

0_0

I absoultely LOVE THIS POEM!!!!!! This is simply amazing. In so few, and well selected, words, you have described so many different emotions. Keep it up!

This strangely reminds me of a song by Evanesence called "Imaginary".

--Alisa_the_fluff_ball