Return to Colorland part 1

Rachel faltered as the realization struck her. She wobbled backwards into the next room but he was on her in seconds. Grabbing her wrists he spun her around with a hint of glee in his lifeless eyes. She knew that she was going to be forced back into that crazy world, but she just couldn’t break free. He covered her mouth so her mother wouldn’t hear her scream, and off they went back into the world off color through the portal.

 

The familiar sensation of traveling through world overcame her and she could feel the tears building behind her turquoise eyes.  ‘No! Not again…’ she thought as reality was yet again rearranged and she found herself in the dreaded castle once more. She felt it was strange that the castle looked the same, so beautiful. She thought such a place shouldn’t be allowed to be that way considering who ran it.

 

The king dropped her on the tile floor like a worthless rag and ordered the guards to take her to his chamber. Rachel was lifted and when the guards started to drag her, the king turned around.

 

“Oh, just so you know that pesky little brother of mine has been taken care of. So don’t get any ideas of escape, it’s hopeless.” Said the king in a chilling sing song voice. Rachel could sense the insanity in him; she wondered how he ever became king.

 

“I’ll never do anything you want!” Rachel announced with all the authority she could muster. But her voice had cracked and she dropped her head not wanting to look at him anymore. She silently cried as she took in her situation, ‘What am I going to do?’ she thought. The simple brainless guards dragged her not slowing or changing their pace in any way, she could have sworn that they were robots. But she decided that they were just ignorant people following orders, the people of this world were not unlike her own.

 

She viewed the magnificent hallways with blurry eyes, and still was breathless at the sight. She had to admit even in the worst situation this place was unimaginable. The colors swirled with her eyes and moved with each step. After her arms were good and sore from the dragging they stopped in front of a massive door. It was made out of the colorful wood of this world, a pale lilac.

 

They opened the doors and threw her in. She could hear the loud clank of a lock sliding into place. She rubbed her sore arms and walked around the massive room. It was like any place you saw in Colorland, colorful. But the room gave off a cold vibe and all the colors seemed almost faded.

 

It was just like what a medieval room was supposed to look like, a wardrobe, tapestry, candles, art, furniture, and a bed that took up most of the room. Rachel’s eyes rested on the bed, the only white thing in the room. She wondered what the king would do to her in that bed, recalling Darian’s warning, ‘I won’t let my brother force you into marring him just to secure his place as king.’ The thought of that man touching her made her sick and desperate. She sunk to the ground searching her brain for a plan of escape.

 

“But I’m just a 15 year old girl, I can’t do anything!” she thought remembering it was Darian who had saved her before. “I’m trapped…no windows and a locked door. What should I do?” She remembered again of Darian the handsome boy who had risked his life to save her. She didn’t blame him for the escape not working; after all she was the one who forget the key. She cried even harder when she remembered what the king had said. She thought that Darian was dead, and it was all her fault.

 

The door behind her suddenly burst open, and in walked the king. He flowed over to the bed and sat on it, never taking his eyes off of Rachel. Rachel glared at him waiting for him to speak. But he just kept starring; she could only guess what he was thinking.

 

At last he said, “We will be married tomorrow, everyone in the kingdom has heard of it by now. They think you are a miracle, a lost royal to continue on the royal line.”

 

“But I’m not! I am here by complete accident, you have the wrong girl!” Rachel huffed.

 

“What a weak argument that is dear; you have the eyes and the locket, what other proof do I need? He chuckled.

 

“But I don’t want this…” she cried.

 

“You have no choice, now don’t be getting cold feet.” his voice darkened, “You will marry me and give me an heir, they will fit you for a dress in a minute.” He said while making his way towards her. His eyes locked with hers. She couldn’t look away, be it fear or a spell, she was stuck.

Author's Note

please tell me what you think i do want to improve:)

Reviews

[The Perfectionist]

The only thing that makes this chapter better than the last one is that it's shorter. I normally try to find at least one good thing about a story to balance out everything I complain about, but all I can say is that I've seen much worse spelling and grammar. You make several mistakes, but once again they are inconsequential next to just how kiddy this feels. If you want to write for little kids, then fair enough, but I'm not the right type of person to review for that. For anyone above the age of reason, this is a boring read, Rachel is a totally unlikable character (the only part of this chapter I enjoyed was imagining what the king might do to her) and none of your other characters have any depth to them whatsoever.

That said, I don't think you should edit this (aside from the spelling mistakes. Use Word for that). Just learn from it. You're young and in dire need of writing practice. This was an experiment. It failed, but at least you've learned several things about how not to do it.

[Tara♥Undefined&h..]

Good. Very strange and i screamed thinking wat the king would do but very very good. ^_^

continue this please i like it.