Cool Air

The sun was setting and Maggie decided she needed to go home. She stood up feeling the cold grainy sand between her toes. She took in her surrounding as she walked the short distance to her rust bucket of a car. The seagulls were making a comforting noise and the sea was doing its constant back and forth on the light colored sand. The darkening orange sky reminded her of the time growing nearer to her curfew. She didn’t want another excuse to argue with her mother. The cool ocean air hit her face as she remembered her long day.

Her mom had barely gotten any sleep the night before and was looking for a fight. Maggie was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. She was coming downstairs, and when she asked her mom what was for breakfast she flipped out. She started yelling about how every morning she was expected to make breakfast and then work all day and come home and make dinner also. Maggie told her mother that she didn’t have to make breakfast everyday, and that she would make dinner if there were ever any food in the fridge. That made her mom even angrier and before long Maggie was grabbing her wallet and flying out the door. Maggie went to McDonalds before coming to the beach, since she never got that breakfast. Maggie just didn’t understand her mother anymore and longed for how it used to be.

At last, Maggie was in the parking lot climbing into her car, turning the key in the ignition. She began to wonder if her mom was home but realized she really didn’t care. She planned to climb a tree into her window to get into her room so she wouldn’t run into her mother. As she flipped through the radio stations, she wondered if the guy at McDonalds saw that she was in her pajamas. Feeling the blush come to her face she was glad she always wore a hoodie.
            When she pulled into her usual parking space she started thinking how she was going to get dinner, because her mom was definitely was not going to make her anything to eat. But when she unwillingly went downstairs there was a plate of food and a note that said, “I’m sorry.” Maggie was touched by her mother’s gesture and promised herself she would try harder from now on to get along with her.

Author's Note

Please tell me what you think!!! Thank You!

Reviews

When writing a story try to slow the opening by giving more detail of the surrondings. You said " When she pulled into her usual parking space she STATED thinking how she was going to get dinner. " add the R . Nice ending it was kinda sudden though. Very good otherwise.

[Megg]

I love this! I almost teared up. Great emotion. -- XOXO Megg

[Tara♥Undefined&h..]

omg Mary I thinks this relates to a U kno whos life awww well if thts true at all especially the last part im hopeful that youll be a great writer and grow