The Beginning

The start of violet's adventure, will she be able to trust her true instincts.

Chapter 1

 

  Violet was walking down the street it was cold, but it was early spring, her favorite time of year. She had just got out of school and her feet hurt in her converse because they where falling apart. But she refused to get a new pair until they could no longer stay on her feet.

 

  She knew she was almost home when she passed by her dream home, the biggest house on the block. It was also the oldest but had been restored a few years back, it had a medieval feel to it and she thought the builders must have been trying to make it look like a castle. It has been for sale for years and she thought no one had enough money to buy it but to her surprise the For Sale sign was gone. This brought some disappointment but she was happy to get new neighbors. And she thought that maybe she could finally have a friend that lives close to her, since all of her friends live on the other side of town.

 

  She was sweaty from gym that was luckily her last class, and her long brown hair was a mess because she lost her brush and didn’t have time to look for it under her bed this morning. She was a block away from her house when she saw him.

 

  He was coming out of the drug mart on the other side of the street. He took her breath away, she began to feel dizzy and she only saw his eyes clearly under his hood. When he saw her, her feet froze and all thoughts fled her mind. His inhuman bright blue eyes pulled her in and saw through to her soul, she felt naked. No one had ever looked at her like that before, like they knew all her secrets. She was too shocked to care her only thought now was of home.

 

  She was in a daze when walked home and fond herself in her room with pink walls and mixed matched furniture, it was her sanctuary. She threw her book bag on her chair thanking god it was Friday so she wouldn’t see those people for two whole days. She absolutely hated school she only has three friends the twins, Jackie and Janice and the goofy Kevin who is rich and the girlyish non gay guy she knows, but she could not survive without him.

 

 Those people or the people she can’t stand are the six sticks or better known as, Lily, Amber, Alisa, Brittney, Kim, and their leader Maria. They are all future house wives and completely evil. They rule the school with their small figures and artificial noses. Now Violet wasn’t ugly but she had strange looks with pale skin and big brown eyes and thick deep brown hair. She definitely was not stick thin but she was small built and curvy.

 

  The twins called like usual after school. They wanted to go shopping but she turned them down claiming she felt ill. That was not a complete lie but she was still freaked from that guy. She wished she knew his name then she could find out who he was through Kevin, who knows anything about everything in there boring town of Canton, Ohio.

 

  Violet couldn’t wait until she graduated and go to art school on the other side of the world in France, it was her dream to become an artist and see the world. While she was daydreaming about France she heard her mom open the front door. So she greeted her mother and went to the kitchen to get a snack before dinner.

 

  She didn’t get any sleep that night, the weekend was boring and uneventful and before she knew it was Monday and she had to get to school.

 

   She got a shower and dressed and skipped breakfast because she almost missed the bus.

 

  When she got to her first class she sat down it her usual seat next to Kevin. Just then the teacher introduced a new student and when she looked up it was him or now she knew his name was Darius. Then she realized that the only empty seat was next to her and panic set in.

 

  And of course the teacher told him to sit there so he gracefully sat down and looked right at her. His face was a masterpiece with silky white skin and a face like a god. Those eyes again were staring right at her but all she did was glue her face into her book that just happened to be about vampires. If only she knew that fiction doesn’t stay in books.

 

         

 

 

Author's Note

i just want to know what you think please! tell the truth:)review please!!

Reviews

[Tina Kline]

Excellent first chapter. I think you have the beginnings of a really good book here. I really enjoyed this a lot. Hope it is about vampires or vampire!

[The Perfectionist]

Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy. Where do I even begin? Oh, I know

I want to declare for the next five years, no one is allowed to write teen vampire drama. At least until this whole Twilight thing blows over. Aside from personal preferences, the reason I say this is that anything in that genre will be regarded with undeserved admiration (or jealous hatred) by Twilight fangirls, and with prejudiced scorn by everyone else. It's just a breeding ground for disaster.

With that out of the way, let's talk about this story. Your age betrays you here; your spelling and grammar are mostly good, but your sentence structure needs work, and if you keep writing it's something you'll grow out of. I did. The biggest thing I suggest you do is study where and when commas (and semi-colons) should be used, because you're missing a whole ton of them.

Oh, and just to save the best for last, you commit the cardinal sin of writing here. Never, ever, EVER switch between past and present tense in the middle of a piece. Never ever. Ever. I can't stress that enough. One tense, and one only.

[Ellary™]

'They rule the school with their small figures and artificial noses' That part was genius. AMEN TO THAT. I lovee it. I lovee blue eyes.