In Pieces

inspired by a book I just finished called But I Love Him by Amanda grace. It was good, really unique, it was told backwards and it was really cool. I recommend! This poem gives nothing away though.

Shards of glass,

shards of my heart,

litter the floor.

You tore everything apart.

My furniture lies in pieces,

and my tears flow.

You told me you loved me,

I knew you were lying though.

I just hoped maybe you would

maybe someday you'd love me

foolish girl I am,

how could I not see?

You're a monster,

you don't love,

you have no honor.

So here I lie,

in pieces, in shards of glass,

I really had known,

I didn't care, though.

Author's Note

reviews please!

Reviews

[Odayin]

I love the last line, it's perfect, and it's flow isn't that bad, it's actually quite nice.
I was a little dissapointed with the poem until I read the last stanza. I think that's the stanza that made all the other ones shine brighter.
The last line item just basically opens the readers eyes a little wider as theyrealize that all those feelings and emotions of sorrow and despise were taken differently because the character had known all along. For that to happen in real life would be a respect giver: for someone to know, but then pretend not to until it's all over, which at that point they could careless. Like, who would they tell!?
Good job Sophie

[Virtuosa X]

Nice work.
I enjoyed the last stanza:
"So here I lie
In pieces, in shards of glass,
I really had known,
I didn't care, though."

I so can totally relate. Keep it up.

[Cole Hayley]

"I didn't care, though." a great closer to a great poem. Very well written sophie, and I can tell your writing has matured, I really enjoyed the dark twist, a great piece.

[R.A. Youngblood]

Pain, emptiness and emotions flows in it. I like your flow of thoughts but i don't like your set up, as you put the two same words: "though", you should put something else to be more pure, poetic. Of course, you don't have to listen to me, all in all your write is wonderful! You expressed your heavy emotions through this and there's many truth behind those rhymes. Thanks for sharing an outstanding poem! Keep it up buddy :D

[Coyote Poetry]

A very strong poem of love.
"You're a monster,
you don't love,
you have no honor."
Some people don't have honor. When you learn. Best escape and run from. I like your thoughts and the very good ending. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Destinyxi]

Very nicely written, I like the rhymes. Keep it up!

[♪The Girl Next Do..]

Excellent! I can feel your pain. I love it!

[shawlyn]

Hi Sophie,
I love the flow of words in this one. Story like quality with good imagery. Well done.
Regards
Shawlyn

[Wild Willow Blue]

Wonderful. Your words are great here.

[Celestial Witch Child]

I feel if you changed the last line to "though I really don't care" it would improve the flow. Other than that, no suggestions. Great poem.