Always here for me.

DRRRAAMAMAAAA!

Fifteen

Ali

I go into the bathroom and immediately make myself throw up my breakfast. I shouldn't have even eaten at all. Stupid! You're so stupid, Ali! I make soothing sounds to myself, like a mother would, as I slide down the wall of my bathroom, tears leaking out of my eyes. It's been almost a year, and I've done it again. I stare out the open door of my bathroom blindly, only seeing the many times my mother abused me.

It wasn't all emotional. I remember the pain of a broken arm from when she closed it in a door. I remember passing out from starvation when I was eight when she wouldn't feed me because she thought I was chubby. I remember the pain watching her rip my full ride to Harvard to shreds. I remember the numerous kicks in my stomach, and the time she cut me on the inside. The doctor's solemn face when he told me I probably would never get pregnant flashes in front of my vision.

I remember all the times I watched my dad's funeral, and not meaning to, I start whispering every word that was said, I have it memorized. I remember every time she told me it was my fault that he died. Every time she called me fat. Every time she called me ugly. Every time she called me worthless. Every time she called me a s**t, even when I was nine and didn't know what it meant. Every time she made me cry. Every time she watched as I threw up blood from her abuse.

I open the cabinet under the sink and find the scissors I use to cut my bangs when they get too long. Then I hear my front door open.

“Als? You left your costume and candy at my place.” Louis calls. “Oh, there y-” He stops short at the sight he sees. Throw up in the toilet, me with tears streaming down my face, hugging my legs, and blood trickling down one wrist.

“Ali?! Ali!” He bends down close to me. My brain turns him into the face of my mother, and I flinch away. He holds me in his arms as I pour out everything she did to me, crying the entire time.

“She- She-” He sputters, he can't even say anything. “You're not going to work today.” He finally manages, pulling out his phone. “What's the number?” I tell him the number and he calls, informs Nikki that I'm sick and won't be able to come in to work. He reaches over and flushes the toilet, then finds a band aid, cleans the tiny cut I made and sticks it on with a little kiss. Then he wipes my tears wordlessly with his thumbs and carries me to my bed, where we lay down and fall asleep.

I wake up from my dreamless sleep still wrapped tightly in Louis arms, even though he's awake, I can tell by his breathing. I turn to face him and snuggle closer to him without a word.

“She's more than a prat.” I whisper a minute later. He smiles, but doesn't laugh.

“There aren't words to describe what she is.” Pause. “Why didn't you ever tell anyone?”

“I would have been put in foster care. And she's still my mom. I just couldn't, so I waited until I was eighteen.” Pause.

“Why does Carly hate you?”

“Because the crash that killed my dad killed her mom too.” I answer, closing my eyes against the memories. Louis hugs me closer and we stay like that. I curse at my stomach mentally for grumbling loudly because he hears.

“Are you ready to eat something?” He asks, but I know I have no real say in the matter. “Good.” He says, and carries me into the kitchen.

“I can walk you know.” I say, smiling a little.

“Eh, walking is for losers.”

“But you're walking.”

“My point exactly.” He grins. He sets me down on the kitchen counter, literally on it, and pours me a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, he pours one for himself too and climbs up on the counter. He watches as I eat every bite. A wave of guilt washes over me.

“I have to go to the bathroom.” I say, as if that's not obvious.

“No you don't.” He says.

“Really, I have to pee.” I convince him.

“I'll come in with you if I have to.” He says in all seriousness.

“Gross.” I make a face.

“I promise, all I'm going to do it go to the bathroom.” I say, “You can even stand outside the door.”

“Deal.” He agrees and we hop off the counter. I go into the bathroom and do my business, wash my hands, and walk back out.

“Ta da!” I say.

“Good.” He smiles, and leads me to the couch where we watch TV, in our usual position, and talk until dinner.

“You want to order pizza?” He asks when I hear his stomach rumble again.

“Sure, sounds great.” I hand him my phone which has a pizza place on speed dial and he calls.

“Um, one large-” he looks at me asking me what I want, and I mouth 'pepperoni', “-pepperoni pizza.” He gives my address and apartment number, 143, even though there are nowhere near 143 apartments in the building. In a little while to doorbell rings and he gets the pizza. We sit down at the table and we eat. I only eat two pieces, but that's how much I usually eat.

“I bet you didn't think you were getting a girl with so many problems when you handed me that note.” I say, smiling.

“I love you even with your past.”

“Thank you.” I say quietly after a pause. “I love you too.”

“I'll always be here for you.”

Author's Note

Ali's perfect world is getting a little un perfect...

Reviews

[Odayin]

Starting to like these Author Notes...

[Owlgirl]

Nice job :)

[Amanda]

I liked it:)

[shawlyn]

Hi Allie,
I'm glad you're story is getting a bit more grittier. It takes it up a level. The character of Allie is now more three dimensional to me. Well done.
Regards
Shawlyn

[Lydia]

Great as usual, and I'm gla you're adding an actual plot. Some fanfictions don't do that.

[Sophie]

I don't know how not to, how can you write a story with out a plot? I just don't get how they do it. :P

[♪The Girl Next Do..]

I LOVE IT!!!!!!! XD XD XD XD