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Schizophrenic

Schizophrenic

A Poem by Sophie
"

Um... idk.

"

Asleep in bed,

my dreams

disturbed my murmurs

fingers claw at the bed seams.


I awake to a scream, a shriek,

it is my own,

for the monsters have found what they seek.


I calm down.

I don't see them.

Where are the creatures

whose whispers haunt my mind,

I close my eyes.


There! There they are!

Behind my closed eyes,

that is where the monsters reside.

Gruesome, bloody...

me, that is that I see.


They laugh, they tell me things,

tell me what to do.

They tell me if I listen,

they'll go away.

Their reflective eyes glisten

in light behind my lids.


Do it, do it now,

and this fear will leave,

Do it, do it now,

let the monsters win.

And then we'll leave.

I obey, and pick up the gun,

as I pull the trigger I hear one last thing:

naïve,

don't you know not to listen to me?

© 2012 Sophie


Author's Note

Sophie
just kind of came to me, but not my favorite. Reviews please :)

My Review

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Featured Review

Hi Sophie,
It may not be your favourite, but it is a very strong and compelling poem. For one so young, you show a good deal of insight into the mind of a disturbed person. Your last lines definitely are very chilling, but a brilliant way to finish the poem as well as the character. Keep it up.
Regards
Shawlyn

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

A very good story in the poem. I like the way you create a desperate situation with a bad ending. Thank you for the outstanding poem.
Coyote

Posted 12 Years Ago


Oh wow... such a powerful poem. It gave me chills... The very last 2 lines are just repeating in my head.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love this one, it's very gripping, and the end is just perfect. Quite creepy. I love that word 'naive' just that one word, it says so much. There's just one tiny thing "me, that is that I see." The second 'that' I think is meant to be something else, but I couldn't figure out exactly what.
I like the voices, I'm not really sure what else to call them, they're very ominous.Brilliant poem.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Great job! I was not expecting this ending.
Nice!!!

Posted 12 Years Ago


AMAZING. That is all...

Posted 12 Years Ago


Wow, powerful writing, great job! Love the word choices adn amazing story!

Posted 12 Years Ago


SOmeone's on a gruesome/murder story roll today ;)

Posted 12 Years Ago


I don't know where you're acquiring these guns from...
But altogether this was a nice story, good meaning. I feel like everybody can relate haha

Posted 12 Years Ago


It sounds like they're tooken over your mind and you was too tired to wake up and open your eyes. its like a wild jungle story sort of

Posted 12 Years Ago


This has a very powerful meaning behind it. I love the way you describe this disease, and they way you end the character's life. The imagery is great, and I felt like I was the character struggling with this.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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12 Reviews
Rating
Added on June 19, 2012
Last Updated on June 19, 2012

Author

Sophie
Sophie

-, MA



About
I'm 16 in my sophomore year of high school, I started on this site when i was 14, took about a year break and now i might be back, im just fixing my description because i was annoying as f**k last yea.. more..

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A Poem by Sophie



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