I like the way you made dawn seem like the opening of sadness. Most people see a new day filled with opportunity. I understand the desire of the poem. When the mind wander to sad times and memories. Allow the birth of a new day to reopen pain. I like the night also. Seem like there is more energy and hope. Thank you for the outstanding poem.
Coyote
So I guess you're a night person..ehh I can't blame you, im the same way. But is every dawn like you say? Sure I disagree with the norm as do you, but even though there's nothing good about the dawn, does that mean there is something bad? Say there was: you embrace your darkest regrets and memories that you wish to forget with utter hatred. (as you said^ or, at least, that's how I took it haha) then there's almost like a feeling of why? "Why should I try? Why can't I just sleep during the day and wake during the night? That's what I love, and aren't we supposed to chase what we love? You know, to find that emotion they call happiness, the very same emotion that seems to elude us often, maybe even a little too often?"
But now take dawn as the way the norm would: a great opportunity, but then what? Opportunities are just empty shells of hope unless acted upon by the ones it grants itself upon, and this brings a risk into the day. This risk now can make or break everything, it becomes a mystery as to what will envelop itself among your presence next. Maybe it won't be something you like...but we all hope it is, or at least they do, after all, they're the ones looking at the hollow opportunity. Funny how their vision becomes transparent, almost like they don't know how to look at anything except a clear piece of glass, so that even when they're looking right at something, they still miss what they truly should be seeing.
All in all, Its a very nice poem with good rhythm and meaning. It also gives a way to make people think and to give them opportunity to make you think as well. So I don't know about the others, but as I just explained, there's two sides to every equation and we a make a choice. Gladly, I realize that not only am I not alone with the night, but we won't be either.
"Dawn proves you wrong, She tries to fool you with a birdsong" Favorite line. Again my personal opinion would be to take out the word "Tries" it takes away from its power. You want Dawn to have powerful imagery, unwavering=). Love it as well!
LOVE! This is amazing! You contradict the poem itself by warning us to stay away from Dawn but giving us all this lovely images of it like the birds and the sky. I love that :) Splendiferious :D
I enjoyed how you put that twist on dawn, as it is normally seen as a fresh start, as a beautiful thing. I really do like how you did that, it was sad.
I like the way you made dawn seem like the opening of sadness. Most people see a new day filled with opportunity. I understand the desire of the poem. When the mind wander to sad times and memories. Allow the birth of a new day to reopen pain. I like the night also. Seem like there is more energy and hope. Thank you for the outstanding poem.
Coyote
I'm 16 in my sophomore year of high school, I started on this site when i was 14, took about a year break and now i might be back, im just fixing my description because i was annoying as f**k last yea.. more..