Life's Mortal Shell

please read! This is my new favorite poem!

The red shines on the snow

the drop of blood, a red rose.

The black bird caws, a crow,

the bringer of Death

listens to her shallow breath.

The victim lays,

she has been slain,

her lips drip, painted in blood,

the color of the setting sun.

The bloodied rose sprouts from the drop in her closed hand

As her eyelids shift again

And her spirit sings a mournful song

as it flutters away to a land in perpetual dawn

More flowers grow in the fallen drops of red

listening to what the crow said,

Cover her body in petals of blood

let the living know I have won

She danced with Death and fell

Cover Life's mortal shell

Vines and roses

cover her scarred face and clothes

they twine around her body in a death grip

Drinking her blood, a sip.

And the first rose blooms,

The crow croons,

Urging it's creation up,

To be beautifully corrupt

The thorns tear at her blue skin as it grows

born of blood,

the red, red rose

Author's Note

Please review, this is my new favorite poem, I'm so proud of this :D. And better title suggestions would be appreciated :D Any thing that you can suggest PLEASE!

Reviews

[Odayin]

This one, in my opinion, is your best. I like how you stuck to a good rhytm while still putting a lot of meaning into the poem, as well as pretty much telling a story. Normally i would pick out certain lines and quote them down here, but there's so many that are so unique that they blend in. Amazing poem, keep this up, please.

[ZoeZoe]

This is freakin awesome!!!!!

[Victoria Elizabeth]

i love it!!!!!!!

[Lumière Dé..]

This is so hauntingly beautiful. I'm just going to briefly state the the flow and
scheme was amazing and get to the bit where I go : JESUS CHRIST!
The... gahhh....you'd think I'd wait till I have the words to write the review but no, spontaneous combustion over here!

The thorns tear at her blue skin as it grows
born of blood,
the red, red rose

-sniff- it's so beautiful!!!!

[MandaBear]

Brilliant poem! I loved it! So amazing!!

[Virtuosa X]

Amazing poem. Love the way it makes you picture the whole thing. I love it. You sure can be proud of your work.

[Archia]

I can see why you have reason to be proud of this, it was really good. I love all that ominous tone it had to it, the depth and the darkness. And the imagery was great, I just had this great picture of a girl lying there with a rose and a crow and blood, it was really good. So overall, amazing poem. Oh, and I really like the title, I don't think you need to change it.

[Coyote Poetry]

A amazing poem. A poem about death that had a feel of good. I like the dance with death. I like the use of myth and blood to create a wild vision. Thank you for the entertaining poetry. A outstanding poem.
Coyote

[emman]

I would suggest THEE BLOODY ROSE..nice poem Sophie!keep it up! SMILE :)

[Abbie]

Aww this is amazing sophie! I love it! Even more than when I read it for the first time ( on the bus). And you should be proud of this, it is amazing!!!! And maybe you could call it...blood of the rose? I don't know...just thought of something cuz u asked if we had any ideas for a better title.