Fantasia

I know there were never two suns, and the sky probably wasn't purple, but this started out as a VERY different poem

The sky swirls in purple and blues

The trees grow in strange, new hues

Flowers the size of hands,

petals stretching, the color of desert sands

Two suns align in the sky

twinkle and blink,

dancing until they both die

A planet on the verge of something great

this strange world, with bated breath, waits

Then it happens,

years later,

and this young planet

finally lets out it's breath

The sky has lost the violet,

and one sun has disappeared, finished

orbiting this spacial islet

The blossoms have diminished

and the earth finishes it's exhale

a creature crawls from the sea

its lungs urging it to inhale

This strange world,

unnamed

home to one

untamed

one who is a beast

home to two

they have a son

This on is bigger, more evolved

and in many years

the children of his have forgotten

the sea of salt

where they came from

These creatures turn into something new

millenia have gone by

and the beautiful pure world is mostly intact

They are now man

strong, upright, and with hands

These creature hold the fate

of this green wonderland

that gave them their birth

This green, living fantasia

now called Earth.

Author's Note

hmmm... reviews? It could us some tweaking...

Reviews

[JanieB]

Excellent!

[Lina Grey]

I like how creative this is, and the format with short, choppy sentences taking the reader through an interesting journey of evolution. Very well penned. Thank you.

[Sophie]

Really interesting and descriptive. Like how it was kind of told through a journey. Great job.

[MandaBear]

really liked that third stanza. Really this was a nice and interesting poem.

[Archia]

I like how although it was kind of implied, it wasn't said that the place was Earth until the end. I thought this was interesting how you described it from the beginning, with two suns and a purple sky. I really liked that third stanza, and how it had short-cut sentences. Really this was a nice and interesting poem.