Persephone's Flower

I made it up, I don't know if Persephone even created a new flower

In the underworld

dark and sinister

void of beauty

Hades' lair

Persephone weeps

her green world above,

the dark king

wants her love

She sits in the grove

of the pomegranate trees

where she met her doom

lost in the sad memories

Her hands twine in the short, grey grass

she prods at the earth

and a piece of green pokes through

she guides it up, to see its worth

The stem grows a bud

she watches it swell

and as she looks the top starts to peel

white emerges, arranged with little petals

Persephone gazes at this piece of beauty

in this dark, cold world

The flower grows, and its scent spreads

as it does her mouth curls

Persephone's flower blooms and thrives

In different colors with green stems

she is reminded

that in the realm of death,

she is still alive

Author's Note

I'm in love with this, but it kind of deteriorated in the end, help?

Reviews

[Odayin]

The ending is fine, I feel that if you try to change it, it may throw off the ekes age you have already presented to us. This has a nice little story line and a great lesson. It could be a fable or legend that has a message to remind others that even in the darkest times, there is always a small light of hope.
Great write

[R.A. Youngblood]

This is very imaginative, creative and descriptive! Sadness is very well expressed..
"Persephone's flower blooms and thrives
In different colors with green stems
she is reminded
that in the realm of death,
she is still alive"
The ending is awesome! :**
Thanks for sharing...Keep it up :D

[dontwakeme]

I like the ending. The piece ends on a high note with the line, "she is still alive." Love the the way the words show your thoughts and feelings very clearly while still telling a story. Very creative.

[Priya]

I agree with Archia. The poem is very beautiful :) You don't need to change anything. I really liked the explosion of color in the poem. It really was a reminder that life exists!

[AK]

It is absolutely marvellous! I love your description and depiction of how the flower reminded a goddess that she was still alive though death surrounded her. Her loneliness, longing and sadness in the land of death is very well expressed. The ending was probably the best way a poem such might sound; nothing could be a better thought one. Keep writing!

[Archia]

I loved this, and I don't think it deteriorated at all. What I loved was how it told a story, and it was quite beautiful. That last line is just great, it ends at just the right note. I enjoyed the idea that she uses the flower to realise that she's still alive. A really nice poem.