Far Beyond

I need a poem, so I closed my eyes, pressed a random key and got k. So, here's what came from it...

“k”

I said

and that was all

back in the fall,

when the leaves were gold

and the winter foretold

crept in that night

blowing winds of white

and howls of fright.

My phone buzzed again

but I ignored it, and when

it rang a second time

I turned it off

and listened instead to the chime

of the old grandfather clock

striking twelve

and as it did, you closed your eyes

and delved

that sharp knife

into your heart

Why didn't I help?

Why didn't I respond?

I wish I had

Now that you are far beyond.

Author's Note

reviews please! Suggestions on how to make it better?

Reviews

[VannahBanana]

I... like the honesty. Because, honestly, do you ever, ever, ever see a Stephanie Meyer talk about what happened on a cell phone, and yet our entire planet is revolved around cell phones?
No.
Maybe... go through it and add a beat.
Like you did in the last line.
The first part flew at me really fast and bitterly.
Maybe give it more time to hit somebody that hard.
I like the idea of what you said.
Maybe it could be an introduction to a story? It sounds good either way.
Good job Sophie.

[Amanda]

I don't think instead fits. I think you should make and delved that sharp knife into your heart one line, it might flow better. I loove this especially since I really relate to it

[Falling Leaf.]

Exquisite sorrow! You wrenched at my heart with your raw anguish. This piece is flawless. Brava!

[Manda]

I simply adore how you got started! What a use of creative energy! I believe I shall quote your genius method and do the same thing. May I pick your delightful brain?

[jennifer little]

great poem and thanks for sharing this with me again your work is beautiful and pure i love it its amazing

[SuicidePact.]

you are extremly talented!

I love all of your writing, when i read them, it makes me feel so wonderful inside, like it gives me tingles.

That my friend means you are an amazing writer and Thank you for this poem, it was wonderful.

xx
S.P

[Sylvana]

That was beautiful. It's so utterly wonderful. It was like a story and oh my gosh.
I have no words.
I'm going to stop talking now. xD This whole review seems preeeetty pointless. Sorry. haha

[Bridger Hall]

WOW! i hope that this isnt real! it´s way way good sophie but way sad as well. good work with this one..