Train Whistles

a story I wrote, I cried while writing it, does that mean something?

            I really hate the sound of train whistles. It brings me back to that day. I was standing with my little sister in my arms, she was three years old. My parents were taking a business trip. I should have realized sooner, my parents didn’t have jobs, but maybe they got one and forgot to tell. So there I stood, as they stood in the doorway of a train, that didn’t look welcoming to passengers at all, waving. There was no emotion on their faces, they were trying to portray sadness, or homesickness, but to my eleven year old mind, they were sad to be leaving. They told us so, and why wouldn’t they be? They would be back in a few days, and I had to babysit Corrie. Which also was weird, I couldn’t stay home alone, but maybe they finally trusted me. I looked at their suitcases that morning, so many of them for three days. Maybe it was a requirement for vacations, we never had enough money for one, and so I wouldn’t know. Three suitcases for my mom, and two for my dad. So many clothes packed into them, food too, they didn’t have enough money to go out to dinner. But it was all canned or packaged. My mother’s clothes were folded neatly and sorted by color. Even though it was fall she had sweaters and sundresses all packed up together, maybe they were moving around a lot. Their train left at eleven o’clock, neither of my parents ever got up that early, but they had to be on time, didn’t they? So we left and walked four miles to the train station, all the while my parents walked ahead of us, and didn’t really talk to us. I wanted to talk to them, I already missed them. We reached the station and sat on the rotting wooden bench. As we waited I looked. It was something I was good at, really, observing. I liked to look at details, to see if I could find something that wasn’t there before. If I didn’t, I would keep looking, closer and closer, until finally I would give up on the details and look at the entire picture. I noticed one maple leaf, clinging onto a tree, it was scarlet and golden. It waved in the chill of the wind and it reminded me of the waves of goodbyes, which made me sad. A goodbye was coming for me, a short one, which would soon be followed by a hello. So I didn’t get too sad, a hello was not far behind. I watched other leaves swirl off a tree, and I tried to notice a pattern in them. Maybe nature had some secret formula to how leaves fell and twisted in the wind, as hard as I tried, I could not see nature’s divine plan. I focused on one leaf again, this one was yellow with tinges of green, it folded on itself when it floated in the air, and I kept hoping it would never touch the ground, maybe if I couldn’t fly, leaves could, leaves should be able to leave their tree and go where they wanted whenever, and then come back when they missed their branch. But soon the leaf did settle on the browning grass below it, which was almost covered in its leaf cousins. Soon, I lost it in the pile, and I searched for it, but soon my eye was drawn to something else. I saw two people standing near the track, waiting for the train. They were a couple around their forties. The small, thin woman looked very delicate and she leaned into the man, they were obviously in love. But I could feel the sadness; he must be leaving for a while. She turned quickly and went on her tip toes to gently kiss the tall, proud man. Something glistened on her cheeks, it was a tear. She smiled though, I had never seen someone cry and smile at the same time. It was strange to me, all tears I saw were of pain or anger or sadness, never going with smiles.

            Then I heard the train, no whistle, just the steady chugging of the wheels churning. My mother and father stood up. I called to them, wanting a warm embrace, I was suddenly cold, and the warmth of the impending hello was gone now, replaced with the much sooner goodbye. I picked up Corrie and went to hug them, they hugged us, but there was no warmth, no unspoken “I will miss you.” I wanted that, so I said it.

            “I will miss you.” My voice cracked. Daddy ruffled my hair, but not smiling like he used to, when I was little. That smile had long since gone, when Daddy lost his job, and Mama had a bad reputation, so neither of them could get one. I wanted the “I will miss you” back! I wanted to be repaid, before they left, because they didn’t have to miss me when they came back, I wanted them to miss me, and I wanted to know that they did. The train pulled up and whistled, I felt sad then, there was no time for “I love you” or “I will miss you” or “Goodbye” they had to go. I grabbed Mama’s hand as she took a step, she pulled it away quickly. I was confused. Why wouldn’t they say goodbye? It didn’t make sense! And as they stood there, in the doorway of the train, the details snapped. They broke into pieces then refitted themselves, and I stepped back to look at the entire picture. The millisecond it dawned on me what was happening, the train blew it’s whistle and started to move. I screamed and screamed and screamed. I cried and sobbed. The woman from earlier came over to me and hugged me, asking what was wrong. I shrugged her off, I wanted my mom. But she was going. The entire picture screamed at me that these leaves weren't going to go back to their branches and this goodbye wasn’t going to have a hello. And it never did.

            But to this day, I wait at the train station, eight years later and every time I cry. When the train pulls in and my mother and father don’t come out, I fall to the ground. That woman’s husband came back. She was lucky, her hello was, “I love you.” Words I had waited for and realized I had never heard.

Author's Note

I cried while writing this... does that mean something?

Reviews

[Tamelia Jade]

I almost cried AND got extreme shivers. This story was really amazing and you didn't need heaps of dialogue because your imagery and descriptions painted the most beautiful picture ^.^ I loved the leaf analogy, it was done really well and reflected the idea behind the story perfectly. So thank-you for such a touching, sad and pretty story!

[MandaBear]

fantastic writing! I even cried a little while reading but it was fantastic!

[Penlady]

You needn't WISH to be a writer, you ARE a writer! Wow! Such raw emotion from someone so young. You've made your reader feel right along with you. Wonderful writing!

[Manda]

Not only did I smile in understanding at your meaningful tears, sweetheart, but I got goosebumps. Well told, wonderfully sad imagery and strong depiction. I felt a tug at the heartstrings, and I just want to say, that your tears are strength, understanding, and are obvious your soul coming out. Well done, honey. Well done

[Jay. E. V.]

fantastic writing from experience. Doesn't it feel great to write it all out?
love the imagery!

[SuicidePact.]

aww this was so sweet!

interesting first lines

[Abbie]

this was a wonderful write! i love the emotion in this. i think that it really reaches out to the reader and pulls them in. keep writing amazing stuff!

[Amanda]

Sophie, this story was good, although I didn't cry. You know me, and would I ever lie to you? This isn't the first story I've read of yours, even though I never got to finish others. I have to say, I like your romance and love stories the best.

[jennifer little]

wow i loved this story and loved how you wrote it out its a great story and wonderful and also sad ... well thanks for taking your time and sharing your lovely work with me .,... and i give you a 100 on rating

[Daenerys]

This is the saddest story I have ever read. Thanks for sharing.

[Bridger Hall]

You´re right! I see why this is one of your favorites! The story is way good! It´s creative. the only thing i notice is that there are parts where it was a little confusing like when it says there was no emotion on their faces, they were trying to portray.... but to my eleven year old mind they were sad to be leaving. or when it says that somthing glissened on her CHEEKS, it was A tear. just little tiny errors that you can fix quickly! thank you for sharing this i really like it.