I Know

I don't know your name

I don't know your story

I don't know where you're from

I don't know where you're going

but I want to.

I don't know if you're hurt

I don't know if you've healed

I don't know who cut you

I don't know if the knife was iron or steel

but I want to.

I don't know your lover

I don't know if she exists

I don't know if you want one,

but I know I'm here if you wish.

Author's Note

not my best :/
reviews please!

Reviews

[Falling Leaf.]

Buongiorno,

I don't think that you should continue this. Don't get me wrong, it's very good, but lengthening it would make the repitition tiresome. What you have now--a concise piece with emotion stuffed into every line--is just fine. Why make the reader tire of the words that once created effect?

Arrivederci!

[I Am Svetlana]

I always think such things when I see other people around me. I wonder what their story is, so I try to envision it in my head of how they got here and how they turned out the way they did. This is a write of true friendship. We can't help everyone, but we can always try.

[CindyLu]

i like the concept of this, really inspiring. i hope you don't mind, but i decided to rewrite it the way i would have if it were my work:
"I don't know your name
I don't know your story
I don't know your journey
Or the companions you've had
but I want to

I don't know your pain
I don't know your comfort
I don't know your hell side tales
Or the way you got your scars
but I want to

I don't know your wishes
I don't know your heart
I don't know it's owner
Or if it even has one
but i know I'm here
if you want me"
generally the same, but different a bit. i agree with Savannah about continuing, and what you've written is just fine :)

[MrKnowAll]

If you feel it's incomplete I have a suggestion for you: Perhaps write how he makes you feel, as in between the lines, literally, by adding brackets "()" or actually any other way. ..Just a thought.

[Inda]

yeah you can continue this, feels like more needs to be said. still good, just feels unfinished.

[Sophie]

That's what I thought! But I stared at it forever and I just couldn't come up with anymore

[Inda]

It happens, come back to it another day and I'm sure you'll have something. Sometimes we're overexposed to our work.

[Quiet Child]

it's really good. i like your word usage and you could really continue this if you wanted to. this is the type of thing i would probably write. it brings a certain feeling to the reader. you may not think its your best but i sure did love it! keep it up Soph!! (:

[devon]

I really liked this, a lot! I like the repetition of "but I want to"; my favorite line is the last - "but I know I'm here if you wish."

It was fantastic! If this wasn't your best, then I can't wait to see what is!

:)

[Damien Davison]

It was a very good poem actually, 'but I want to'... That was a good idea. It would've been perfect if it wasn't for the last line if the "I know" was removed it would flow a lot better, just a personal opinion that is. Great job really!

[Rosa Carlyle-Mitchell]

I actually agree. Where the 'knows' are in the rest of the poem there is an element of uncertainty. By removing it, it gives it more definition or surety.

[Persona]

Not your best, I agree, but I read all of it and therefore it's interesting enough. I think the last line was a nice touch! I'm figuring the knife was a metaphor and I like that!

[Coyote Poetry]

A positive poem. Good to offer friendship to someone in pain. I like the flow of thoughts and the very good ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote