Only a House

Inside the front door I remember there's a picture of mommy and me

she's smiling, and I'm a baby, she holds me while I sleep.

I remember the carpet is soft and I don't wear slippers because I like it so much,

not even the actual bunny slippers daddy got me that are soft to the touch.

Then the next room is the kitchen, where I had cookies after the first day of first grade

My big sister poured the milk, and of course they were good because they were the ones mommy made.

The next week I sat again at the counter and tried to figure out how to add,

and daddy gave me a lecture about paying attention in class.

Then it's in the living room where I cried after a day of school the next year,

my big brother asked me why I was shedding so many tears

I told him that a mean boy in my class made fun of my art project, a portrait of us,

and brother laughed at told me that the boy liked me, and to not make such a fuss.

Then down the hall is the bathroom, where in fifth grade I first shaved my legs,

It didn't go too well, and mommy put band-aids where I bled

I went on with my shower, embarrassed but grateful,

and once she left called the razor hateful.

Then next to that is my room, where I first told my best friends in seventh grade about my crush

My sister barged in, yelled out his name to the house, and I got mad and blushed.

I yelled at her and wouldn't speak to her for a week,

but she made me brownies, and though I forgave her, called her a sneak.

Then there's my parents' room, where I heard them fight only once,

then mommy said, “Oh look at us, we're both being a dunce.”

They made up and all was well,

but it still made me have a dizzy spell.

Then there's my brother's room, when I was in eighth grade I saw him naked with a girl,

I screamed and ran out into my sisters room where she was trying to get her straight hair to curl,

he came in a minute later, now fully clothed,

and tackled me to ground yelling, “Don't tell her! No!”

It was in her room, that we got the truth out,

the girl he had been with was my sisters best friend, and my sister began to shout,

to me, it was all quite amusing, because when you're fourteen everything is,

but mommy and daddy and my sister were all really pissed.

Now it's in this hospital room, that I remember all this,

I want to punch the drunk driver in the face for destroying my bliss,

he killed my family, all of them, they're gone to the clouds

and now the home I once lived in is now only a house.

Author's Note

reviews please!

Reviews

[Lina Grey]

Jeez Sophie I thought this was a true story, then I get to the end, and I'm kinda glad it's not. It was very touching, relatable. Like the way someone's memories should go, in a way. Maybe not that last memory and definitely not the last stanza... but it seriously gets the message across against drunk driving and it's a brilliantly poignant writing. I've never read anything else like it.

[The Nude Writer]

Very powerful story! Wow.. you really ripped me with this one.
Strong writing.

[Acer]

Touching

[J. F. Charleston]

What I can say about this piece was that I never read anything like it. It was told with a free spirit kinda thing. I became addicted to it as I read and then I got to the end and it nearly made me shed a tear. A wonderful and very addicting piece that I loved.

[Falling Leaf.]

Buongiorno,

This is touching. The images are lovely although the rhythm is a bit awkward sometimes. Notwithstanding I do believe that this is one of your best pieces. Drunk driving is a horror and needs to be stopped but I doubt it will. If this is based on true events than I am truly sorry. If not, bravo, because such a poignant story is always hard to compose. A work of art, I daresay.

Arrivederci!

[Sophie]

it's not a true story, don't worry. But thank you for the review :)

[Falling Leaf.]

You are welcome!

[s y e]

This was amazing. Wow! Amazing!

[Inda]

Great and gritty stuff, love it!

[zainul]

Is it an imagination?
Whatever the basis of this piece,it is awesome.
Accept my greetings in your hospital room.
I feel very sorry that the story has dragged you too much.
Though I could not figure out why the drunk driver would destroy your bliss by killing your dear ones transforming your home to a house only.

[Sophie]

It's not a true story, don't worry :)

[zainul]

I am relaxed.
I am happy that you are safe!

[Coyote Poetry]

A sad ending to a excellent poem. The thoughts after a accident is of the good times and great sadness overcoming our life. I like the description of family and how you ended the excellent poem.
Coyote

[barricade]

Wow! That's all im gonna say...WOW!

Great write Sophie...the journey over the years...the memories...a tour into ones home through ones mmmories...the transition...and the heart wrenching end...

You made me feel each word as though i was there seein everythin from my own two eyes...could feel a sudden chill down my spine and a void in my chest at the end...

I loved it...great work...worthy of bein proud of...keep it up!