Prolouge

My (very crappy) start to the book

                “Isya! They have attacked!”

                An aging, bearded man looked up from his throne. The messenger, a boy no older than ten, breathed rapidly, his eyes wide. “What are your orders?”

                The man raised a long pole, topped with a glowing green emerald, the size of his fist. He pulled the gem side close, then looked at the messenger.

                “Tell all of the villagers to flee. And tell everyone who travels, to tell everyone. We cannot fight.”

                The boy nodded, and ran out of the tent. Isya rose from his seat and walked towards the entrance. His deep purple robes dragged behind him, like a bride’s dress in an aisle. He pushed the door-curtain aside and watched the boy run between huts, shouting the news.

                “Isya,” he murmured, “you can’t let Tafer stay fallen. The monsters will eventually be beaten. Let the hero come soon.”

                On the other side of the village, a girl, near seventeen years, was busy tending the garden. Her brown rag dress was caked in dirt, from gathering food in a nearby forest. She looked over as a boy, much younger than her. He dashed in front of her shelter, a mud house with a mere four rooms.

                “Isya had called the order to flee! The monsters have attacked the kingdom!”

                The girl stood straight. Monsters? In Tafer? How could that be? But there was no denying it; news of beasts laying siege to the border had been arriving for weeks. If they had broken inside of the territory, Isya’s orders were clear. The girl dropped her shovel and ran inside.

                “Mum! Father!” Her voice was choked with panic. “Get the little ones!”

                “Casyat, what’s wrong?”

                The girl grabbed a small bag from a room. “Isya has ordered the village to evacuate. The border has been violated.”

                Wordlessly, the parents gathered the smaller children, telling them to take only one toy. Casyat dashed out the door, wanting to stay by herself. Her eyes flickered with panic as she did so. Her gaze darted back and forth, looking for a place to take refuge.

                A growling noise rose up, racing alongside Casyat. She stopped suddenly, causing herself to fall over. She looked over at the bush, not wanting to see an animal lunging at her face.

                “Mastikal!” a cry rang out, distant. Casyat let out a scream.

                Suddenly, a beast jumped out of the  foliage. It was the size of a large dog, with thick fur, mottles brown and black. Its teeth were jagged and yellowed. The girl froze, not wanting to be injured.

`               The beast let out a howl. It reared up onto its hind legs, revealing a belt containing several knives. It pulled out one, which had a curved and cruelly twisted blade. The girl backed up to a tree and let out a scream.

                Suddenly, a man flew out of nowhere and smashed into the animal. He grabbed the dagger and plunged it deep into its fur, where the heart would be. It went limp. The man got up and dragged the beast’s belt off.

                “Come on. A girl shouldn’t be in the woods, especially now.”

                He took her hand, and they disappeared into the trees.

Reviews

[Misted Eyes]

Not quite as crappy as you've claimed; prologues are often hard to write as they are not an 'actual' part of the story but a prelude. It is something akin to looking over a kingdom, than focusing on characters as the chapter begin. I, too, had a crappy prologue :P, then I removed it and replaced it with a poem claiming it to be a preface. My problem was solved :)
[Criticism begins here]
As far as I can tell the only crappy part here is the grammar; you have a good vocabulary, no doubt about that, but the way you compose the sentences makes it difficult to read and I found myself needing to read a few sentences a couple of times before I understood them.
[More criticism]
Chapters, prologues amongst them, are usually written in a single narrative. Either omniscient 'over-the-shoulder' point of view of one character or the character's own words and eyes, and when there are more than one POV they are usually separated with * * * In this prologue, I've counted three points of view-- the boy, that bearded man (king?), then the boy again and finally the girl.
[Even more criticism]
The final part of the prologue. The girl is running through the door, something jumps out of the bushes and a man saves her, revealing that she's suddenly in the woods. Did I miss something, or have you forgotten to elaborate?

Hope you find any of this useful,
Courteously,
The Misted Eyes that Gaze from beyond the Veil of Frost