I Want you

I want you.

you fulfill my needs and pacify my unsettled ways.

in your cold absence, though submissive to progression i find myself regressive:

cravings appeased, still my hunger matures into starvation.

my mind no longer feeds on the glorious buffet that once lay before me.

obtaining a state, tabula rasa.

Willing.

Open.

Free from being subject to the prejudice of others internal instict, You freed me of the ropes i tied,

knotted

and weighted down to keep my mind in an observational line.

Forbidden to indulge in the appetizer for the buffet, the grape of temptation,

i look back.

having already indulged in what i once called a “fallacy of the mind” now became the drive to my suffice.

as the active site for my growth, every plate you offered was an emotional catalyst to the exploration of my inner depth. 

Psychomachy.

archaic terms and my

passive existence on your part takes my enlightenment onto another stage.

your potent elixir of thoughts and perpespective injected into my mind.

acquiring a vaccination of precognition,

the subliminal awareness lays in my collected series,

volumes

And Manuscripts of your insightful, encrypted language. 

Stopping at the preface, New encounters in your absence undusts the dust that settled on the threshold.

i decipher what your eyes spoke of, 

what my ears knew. 

knowing that i knew this and reading though my mind what you saw

put me in a moral dilemma.

i’ve chosen.

chosen to take your encyptions.

your… hieroglyphics.

hieroglyphics, created in the civilization of the

kings and queens.

Pharaohs. 

the buffets i’ve been offered by many never endure. 

digested without a catalyst. they settle easy.

though vile and crude; they pass through leaving no nutrients to the mind;

only empty shells and meatless bones cast as evidence of what i gained. 

but you. 

a writer,

poet,

a natural instrument, producing resounding melodies and structures of heiroglyfics in the form of phonetics and scripts 

a king. 

your buffet presented and served with gold plates, peeled skins and uncased fruits; prepared and ready to eat by queens and kings.

those who are

& those to become. 

i was offered them. 

by you. 

Reviews

[reflectingus]

This is pretty intense. I love the way you put all that knowledge- from Pharaohs, to catalysts, to a buffet- into this piece. I particularly loved this line- "a natural instrument, producing resounding melodies and structures of hieroglyfics in the form of phonetics and script", that way you described a writer. And also, the structure, that kind of goes like an hourglass, like, short sentences at the beginning and conclusion, and long in the middle. Maybe you could go back and re-read your work to find some small spelling mistakes. I only have one thing though- this didn't sound much like a poem. I mean, maybe its my incapacity to understand such well-phrased words put together, but eventually, it just seemed to lengthy. For lengthy 'poems', even if your free verse style is flawless, it is advisable to add a couplet or two, or just rhyme somewhere, and make it a bit interesting. I'm not asking to make everything rhyme-y, just, a little, perhaps? I'm just giving a suggestion to make it a bit more interesting, and I felt that the overall idea was a bit ambiguous, I got a little confused, but again, I'm just being extra picky here. You certainly are going on the right track, maybe you could take small steps though, like trials at poetry a bit shorter, or maybe if you dig really long stuff, you could try stories. Either ways, I enjoyed this poem, great job, keep writing!

[Shy Girl]

This piece reads, to me, as an instructional view of how your mind wields the power you contain within the knowledge and breath of your observations in life. I very much enjoyed your own unique style of interpritation of feelings and emotions with deepth and well...umph!! (powerful punch of structure) Thank you for asking me to read this marvelous piece of poetry. :)

"a natural instrument, producing resounding melodies and structures of heiroglyfics in the form of phonetices and scripts
a king."

That was just ....WOW!!! :)

[PaperLife]

And this does NOT need to be shorter. This is your unique style, just flow with what you feel is appropriate. Becayse YOU are the only one that should decide what needs to change.

[PaperLife]

I don't mean to make this confusing, but this IS poetry. To me. And I don't think you need to rhyme (Everyone rhymes) you have your own unique style and I think you should stick to this. You will grow and evolve as you continue to write without the crticism of others. And so far this is amazing.

I think my favorite line of the entire poem was "You freed me of the ropes i tied"
I mean, how true this is!

Your words flow into this pattern of intimacy with the mind, like it's rubbing right into the heart. It passionately discards society's system and puts thoughts and feelings out there that nearly sinfully sweeps the entire world into an alternate meaning. It captures me, tears me up. To slowly read and digest your intelligent feelings, and to understand them and soak into them slowly... it brings me to tears while pulling me to my knees. Life sometimes finds contradictions and you weeded these out with one improbable meaning. I can feel inside of my chest as I read this. It bubbles in and out making me feel each thought and word. Weaving into my heart like a disease, your words, and staying there. Infecting it slowly and calmly. Infecting it like it did you. I just... this is beautiful.

Well done.