Devil I call myself,

self destruction

I am stuck

I keep running and running

and I swear the moment I reach the end

I meet the beginning

And I run again

And again

and I cant 

cant escape

Why wont it leave me alone

why wont it let me go

why wont I- let me go

why do I keep running back

why do I keep running to the beginning

do I want to go?

Or do I want to know ..

to know why

why all this is happening to me

why the people who i love most, hurt me best

why sadness engulfs me

why the reflection in my mirror is no longer me, its a shattered image of a girl whos screaming inside (help me) 

i ignore her

so when i run

i forget where my destination even is

where im meant to be, to be at this fictional end of misery

or to be controlled by my inner enemy

and at some point, i dont notice that im running to my demons

they welcome me (hello again) they whisper, 

and i dont ask myself why (why i am back that is)

because i know why

they make me feel safe

they scare me and fear me, but all at the same time

they bring me comfortability

so they bring me back (i bring me back)

 i run to them

run into the arms of the demons who destroy me

its where i fit best

in the hands of the devil, he swallows me

but in his presence i finally feel rest

i can sleep from my constant uncertainty of why the world is after me

or why the world wont let me leave

because in the beginging, that is where i do not ask questions

they wont allow me (i wont allow me) 

instead...

that is where i live my life in hell in silence and dont try understand why its happening to me

the sadness, the tears, my emptiness

in the beginning

i accept their doings because i feel like its meant for me

this place is my destiny

so maybe i dont run away

maybe i run towards it

towards myself

the devil within, i mean.