In Defence Of The Word Ain't

This is a re-write of a story I am trying to write...in it I am trying to find a truth...but I'm not sure if there is one.

I have always had a fixation upon characters that did not vary from whom they were.  It was far from the world I lived in, I must tell you.  The world I lived in could change minute by minute.  I had no idea that anything was wrong, till once more, like the hundreds before, I came to another place and time of sadness.

 

I have found through the years, that most of the men whom I have been attracted to have this fixated character.  They are who they are, they do not change for anyone.  I always thought this was strange because I changed all the time, it was a way of life.  I was also very intrigued on where there faith came from.  The story I am telling is about a man who was extremely himself, or was he?  I can remember his intelligence, but I can also remember his temper.  I'm sure he hit my mother at least once in their marriage, but I have not asked.  It is a subject she has talked very little about.  My mother believes if you don't admit to it, then it doesn't happen.  She also believes that people can't hurt you unless you let them.  But she doesn't live her life this way.  Instead it is a constant where is everyone and what is everyone doing, and when I tell her, well then it's time to listen to;  what should of been done,  by the great teacher.  I do feel jaded rightly or wrong.  I don't know how the story of Buzz  fits in to this puzzle but I do believe it fits somewhere.

 

About Buzz

 

I don't remember what Buzz looked like.  He was my mothers 2nd husband and very different from my father.  He had money, power, and respect from everyone around him.  I didn't understand back then why I was always so angry at him, I'm not even sure if I understand today.  I just know that I am.  That's it nothing more, nothing less. 

 

He lived in the apartments in Marietta, GA. that the upper middle class lived in.  The ones who had enough money to buy Mustangs, and steroes.  Who bought us kids the majical tunnel.  Which was only plastic in a circle about a foot long.  Oh but when I would climb into that tunnel how the world I lived in would fade away, and I would make up my own.  Sometimes it was a good world, sometimes it wasn't. 

 

Getting back to Buzz,  

 

Buzz worked at Lockheed at Dobbins AFB, he was an engineer of some type.  His pride and joy was his Mustang, I don't know the year, but in my mind I see the first one's to come out, someone once told me that would of been a 641/2, a very rare model today.  He had a colored TV, that was rarely turned on.  When it was, it was usually the news.  Although Buzz and my dad was so different, one thing was the same, us children had to be quiet when the news came on.

 

  I am just guessing that my mother is much more intelligent than she appears to us children.  I can remember her and Buzz having conversations that were intriguing for my little mind, but really I didn't understand.  She was going back to school to become a Surgical Tech.  She drove a cab in Atlanta to provide for us or so she thought.  Most of the time the money went into another persons pocket after a one to four day poker game.  She was convinced that she was the worlds best poker player.  I must say looking back, my childhood was a bit brighten by her unstability, the adrenalane of never knowing what was to come next.  But at the same time, when I would tuck my sisters into bed, all awhile biting on my tongue so I wouldn't hit one of them because they were just making me so angry, I felt lost.

 

Buzz also had a hard case rule, no one and I mean no one could come into his house and say the word ain't.  Everyone I knew said the word ain't.  I could not understand this rule, and so it made me angry.  I could not get a satisfactory answer, and so it ate at me.  Yes, I could get the point of if you used something enough, it spreads, and before you know it everyone is catching on to what you have just yourself used.  My problem was I saw nothing wrong with this and he did. It was on a blackboard in the kitchen "Ain't is not a word, so Ain't will not be used in this house."  I thought, s**t man he used Ain't to get that message across.  He did not even know what he meant.  Maybe that was my first hint of things aren't always as they seem. 

 

Reviews

[deeps]

This is amazing, I like this alot! Impressive write.

[David W Moore III]

Great start. Very immersive. I feel like I'm starting to know buzz and definitely "you".

[LeaMarie]

I enjoy your voice in this. First person is my favorite pov. I really identify as my mother was like that when my father came around. It infuriated me because she acted like a goof around him as most women did. Is this autobiographical?

[Vicky Zhuang Yi-Yin]

There are some grammatical errors in it, but other than that, this was pretty good. Some errors are mixed up "too" and "to", and it's actually "a lot". It's good for a draft version. Good job, and keep it up!
-Yin