the walls i live in

when you dream of a dream that will never becomes true it kills you from the inside

There I go dreaming of a dream that will never comes true my hopes and fate is washed  away my darkness and tears begins to fall and I need to full my lungs so I don't feel my pain now I need to washed away  the feeling of letting go with the poison water .this is it my pain will now becomes my wall that I live in . All for my hopes and dreams of a life to feel so much alive but the gods chose to kill me within my wall .

Reviews

[Chryiss]

I really like your author's note about what this poem is about. It's definitely something I and I'm sure others can relate to as humans who naturally yearn and search for that..something.
I'm not sure if it was a formatting error when transferring the poem from your device or application, but this lacks the line breaks typical of poems. However, I did see double spaces after "wash away" and "wash," so I wondered if that's where the line breaks were supposed to be? Anyway, I think this poem's impact will increase once it's broken up into lines rather than stay as a paragraph.
For example, in the last sentence:
All for my hopes and dreams of a live to feel so much alive
but the gods chose to kill me within my wall.
This would end the poem on a dramatic note as the phrase "the gods chose to kill me within my wall" is really strong!
Lastly, I picked up some common grammar errors and a possible misspelling.
"my hopes and fate is washed away"
"tears begin to fall"
"I need to fill my lungs"
"my pain will now become my wall"
"dreams of a life to feel"
I really do like the content of your poem, and I think it has even greater potential to make a bigger impact with line breaks and correct tense.

[Raven moon]

thank you for pointing that out I shall correct the mistake