Parallel Universe

A poem about choice

1.

Lines equidistance from each other

Will never under any circumstance cross paths

Running parallel from each other

Through time and space

 

2.

The Many-Worlds Interpretation on quantum Mechanics

Theorizes that observations cannot be predicted absolutely

There are unlimited possibilities

Each corresponding to a different universe

Lined up side by side

Equidistant from each other

Worlds that will never

Under any circumstance cross paths

The only thing separating them

Is a thin layer of space

They call the grey space

 

3.

In sixth grade

After coming home in tears

One too many times

My mother gave me the option to

Either continue my education

With children who systematically

Bullied me for years

Or be held back

And join a completely new class

The boys in science class

Begged me not to do it

And for the first time

I felt welcome in my own skin

 

4.

Entering my first year of college

I made a deliberate choice

That Luke would no longer

Suffice as a name

It was time to grow up

Using the name appearing

On my birth certificate

Lucas; meaning bringer of light

A name my parents

So perfectly plucked from the bible

 

5.

At 21 I spent one glorious night

With a boy who was perfect

The next morning I didn’t brush my teeth

Smoked my first cigarette in twelve hours

Walked into my dorm

Reeking of regret and longing

My roommates pointing and laughing

At my walk of shame

I made a choice

To listen to the bottom of my stomach

And told him I knew it wasn’t going to work

In this life

In this dimension

It didn’t

But there are nights

Even today

When I make love to his memory

 

6.

Saying no to a line of coke

 

7.

Saying yes to a blind date

 

8.

Finally accepting that I love country music

 

9.

Telling my mother I’m gay

 

10.

Being sexually assaulted

By the same person twice

And telling no one

 

11.

Tonight, I am on a date

With the most beautiful man

And asking him how he feels about me

Takes the strength of seven suns

And I have yet to harness that much energy

So even in my silence

I can feel the big bang

Of another universe

Aligning parallel to the one I live in

I want so badly to pull

The question from the lips of the stronger me

Through the grey space

Sprinkle the words like glitter

Onto his heart and chest

But I know I won’t

 

12.

Grey space

Seen through tiny slits of crunched eyelids

Watch the versions of myself

Dance to the rhythm of someone else’s life

 

13.

Worlds equidistant from each other

Will never under any circumstance cross paths

Running parallel from each other

Through time and space

But I keep trying

To meet them in the middle

Grasping the grey in-between

With fists

Full of nothing