This Moment of Nirvana

Was the bed soft?
I cannot remember, and, it doesn’t matter.
My mind, body, and soul were in perfect unison as I laid on that bed.
The day had just started but already I was content with its events.

Our eyes met as I came up from her soft neck and they held me.
She says her eyes are hazel but I know in my heart that they are as green as the most beautiful Highlands of Scotland.
She smiles and I feel a gentle caress against my face.
I blink slowly as I follow her hand and feel free.
I open them and gently kiss her lips.
All in the world is right.
There is no war, no hate, no poverty, hunger, or pain...
Only this moment of nirvana.

I lift myself off of her slightly and lay myself down on her chest.
Her breasts rise and fall gracefully as would an angel’s.
Her hand runs through my hair now as I look down her body.
There are angels to her angles, this running goddess.
Not an ounce of fat is out of place.
Her skin is as bronze as that of a modern model.
I exhale slowly as I tingle from joy.
I’ve found my perfect women, my Aphrodite.

Curling my finger under her tank top I lift it slowly.
Her bare stomach breathes for me for the first time and I kiss it.
There is no resistance, she massages my neck.
I turn, her hand turning against my neck with me.
Each kiss as passionate as the last as I work my way across her stomach,
Ever so slowly making my way up her abdomen.
She breathes deeper and harder,
I look up to see her whole body arching.

Before me now as I look back at her tan skin is the last of her shirt,
Messily rolled up to her breasts.
I stop.
Could I go further?
Should I?
I glance back up.

Our eyes nervously meet.
I move back to her neck and kiss her once again, feeling her coo as I do so.
To her chin, cheek, brows, and ear I go before stopping, face to face.

She looks at her breasts,
“They’re nothing special.  I wouldn’t even call them b***s.”
I giggle, she said b***s.
She looks at me and I become as silent as I had been on my flight to this City.
Her brows shift,
“Was that funny to you?”

I smirk.
“You said b***s.”

I watch the green of her eyes roll around as she raises a brow.
“What are you, 12?”

“If I am, and your 18, what does that say about you?  Better yet, what does that say about me ?”
I pause a moment.
“That must mean I’m awesome ”

She smiles,
“Say it again.”

Kissing her forehead,
“awesome...”
Her nose,
“awesome...”
Her lips,
“awesome...”

She turns and kisses my neck.
I run my index finger down the side of her face.
She is perfect as she lays back down, resting her head against the pillow.
Was it soft?
I don’t remember.

I close my eyes as a flood of memories wash over me much like the cool summer breeze of the day we met.
In that moment I relive each day up until this one.
The music festival,
The late night conversations that lasted for hours as she sat in a shower at camp for privacy and I sat outside, staring at the stars wishing she was there with me,
The text messages that helped us both get through our family reunions,
And the day were we finalized when I would come to this City to see her before college stated.

I open them to find her looking over my face,
Making her way to my eyes as if stalking me.
I had never felt so in tune with the universe as I had in this moment.
I had to.

“I love you.”
She looked pained as my words left my mouth.
The universe was sucked into a black hole as my heart died.

Her lips touched against mine.
“I... love you too.”

“That looked like it killed you to say that.”

She shook her head,
“No... I just thought I’d never say it to another person.”
She kissed me again.
There was a Big Bang.
A new universe was born,
A new universe with her as my core.

Only. . . . . . . . .
Now. . . . . . . . .
My core has faded away,
Has left,
And I find myself adrift,
Hopelessly alone in this new universe.
Maybe, she’ll return one day to put light where there is now darkness...
Its... just... so hard, being optimistic.