Preface

A Chapter by Black Angel

I stare into his eyes as he held me close . The pitch black room was cold and his ice skin only made it worse, but I couldn't let him go . The silence made it easier to hear them coming closer .

I knew this would be our last hour . As the blistering minutes rolled by I found his eyes just as worried as mine . The foot steps were right down the hall, as he whispered in my ear,"I love you, and I'll never let you go ." Then he smiled my favorite smile, which sent my heart racing .

I managed a shutter and said,"And I love you ."

The footsteps were right outside the door . I closed my eyes and clenched to him tighter . He looked straight forward, as I dug my face into his chest . The door creeked open as we prepared to die .

next chapter

© 2009 Black Angel

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Featured Review

Interesting. I like it, though I did notice some spelling and grammar problems. At the end your sentences, you had a space after the last word before you put in a full stop. You don't need that.

When you write that someone says something, you need a space after the comma before you open the quotation marks. Also, it might look better if you had all quotations on a new line, though you'd have to restructure some of your sentences to make it work.

When you wrote the word "shutter", you should have written "shudder" and you wrote "creeked" instead of "creaked".

I know that was all nitpicky, but it'll help you in the long run, especially because people take good spellers more seriously when reading their work. The story itself sounds great, though. Good luck and keep writing!