My Misconceptions

My view of the world and some of my journey is not always what i think it has been

I have walked through the way-wards, the hopeless and the the uninspired. I have walked among them holding a torch to the west wind, wondering always and onward, about why life had done them wrong.

All along this was a misconception. Wrongs of life for one of the masses, could be right for another. Perspective is Deceptive!! Or is it the other way around? I now walk closer with open eyes, hoping that through the many doors of life's tabernacles, I will find my peace. I have loved and lost, but it was better than never loving before. I have made mistakes, taken many paths veering into the distance, leaving my own behind.

My soul yearns for a companion, one to walk my path with me, but all in all, we all have separate paths; and yes, occasionally, one would come to walk theirs beside me. I can no longer abandon my path, I can no longer give up my hopes, my dreams to be someone else's world. I have my life, and if they want to live theirs with mine, how wonderful that would be!

To walk our paths together, not abandoning either path would be an experience I would be overjoyed with. My soul and spirit do not falter now, and by my choice, I am once again open to experience walking with someone else. I have lost great people and love from friends and family alike; but really, death is a bridge to just yet another section of path. I am sure they are still walking, not in front or behind me on my path, but walking their own path right next to my heart as long as I keep their spirits right next to my heart and in my soul.

To be free and to be loved. To walk and run in the glory of my soul with people who understand what it means to love someone, but not give all of your soul to someone.. that is who I want to be and the people I want to be with. I cannot be someone's world, but I definetely be a part of it.

Misconceptions and insecurities have filled my heart and soul with doubt and sadness. Love is something that is somewhat of a misconception to me. Love can be without giving up who you are, in fact, you have to be sure of who you are to have a chance of loving someone else for who they are faults and all. I miss the easiness of not knowing, of being ignorant about love... of believing in the prince charming of my dreams.. Does this gleaming knight, riding in to save the day still exist? No. Not really. Life is too real, and to tangible. It is too unpredictable to be perfect, and so the people of humanity and carnal desires are not going to be either. I have made mistakes as stated before, and I have learned from them. If I truly fall for someone, there faults are some of the most glorious things about them. I cannot fit into some cookie-cutter perfect world, and neither can they.

Settling is so easy. Why settle? Why not go for the things hard and out of reach? I often feared failure, and it cost me my love and life. Fear is something human, and yet sometimes, subconsciously, it catches us like a cold breeze off a faraway shore. I was pulled off the cliff, but fate is interesting in the ways it catches and returns us to the shores of life, dripping, drenched even in the trials of life, like the tedious waves and tides of the sea.

So, as a result, we lay there, beaten and defeated. Will and power to fight onward all but forgotten. Empty and scared, tired and wore to the bone... but sooner or later, we wake to the sunrise, find the beauty of the opportunities of new life, and once again, move on to something that is better. A life of hope in ourselves to one day conquer the tossing and the turmoil that hits us wave