McDonaldland

Reflections after a summertime stint at a job many of us have regretfully had to endure at one time or another.

There is something which disturbs me
In fact it rather perturbs me
When mother Sue lets dear little Bobby
Mangle, tangle, and destroy the lobby
Catsup spills, malt globs, and pickles
Lettuce shreds, lost pennys and nickels
Half eaten Big Macs dropped on the floor
Trails of straw wrappers lead to the door
Hot apple turnover spread on the wall
Oh Yes! I am sure little Bobby had a ball
Table now smothered with food and a tray
Bobby's frazzled mother and son slink away
So we lowly workers do what pittance paid for
Wipe the table and scrub the chairs

Mop the Ronald Red floor
Scrape cement fudge caramel 

Obliterate the grime
Make it Mcsparkle in record breaking time
Leave no fingerprints upon the glass
Until another little Bobby comes to pass

Reviews

[Clouded in Hopeful Illu..]

It's great that you took an experience most people have lived and turned it into something funny and clever.
If I worked at McDonald's I would love to read this, just to know that I am not the only one who goes through all these pains. =]
I really liked the flow of it as well.
Nicely done.

[Maxwell]

Haha, clever and humorous. A few things I would personally fix, the specific things I'll just add to Notes. Only two major criticisms here. One, try to pick a tense and stick with it. I'm just not always sure what tense you're supposed to be in in this, it's not a big deal, only happens a few times. The other thing is a common thing in poetry -- sometimes it helps to read it out loud to get the rhythm of each line. If you match up syllables and accents well enough, it can sound really cool (especially the feminine rhymes, like in "what pittance paid for").

In general the poem is very good an very expressive of something that, while humorous, lots of people can relate to. I mean honestly, however unfortunate it sounds, most everyone has met a little Bobby before, right? xD Thanks for posting this, I really enjoyed reading it.

[THE BLACK SEAL]

lol this was friggin great. it made me laugh.. thx a lot for this..let me feature it as the writing of the week for INK