The Masks

Cassi and Alex

The Mask

I feel my eyes glass over as i slide the sharp razor against my already scarred skin. i look down at thigh, I run my finger over the fresh cut and let out a short breath. Lifting the finger away from my leg, smeared with red. I zone out as i keep pushing the sharp rectangle of steel harder into my leg. I feel as if i'm floating, i don't even know that i'm cutting anymore. i just rise above my body and i look at myself on the bed, completely broken but no one knows, no one cares. I turn away from myself and look around my room, a light blue that looks like the ocean and there is a huge vintage mirror perched up on the wall. It was where i felt the most safe, where everything was ok. I float around and through the doorway, i turn and see the splintered wood that had nails poking out of it from slamming it again and again from when i wanted to shut the world out, a little too hard. I move down the hallway and look into the empty room to my left and thought of my sister and wished she was here right now, she always made me feel a little better. I go down the steps and see my dad, if only he knew how bad it was. The memory of alex and It blinds me.

“God you’re such a b***h!” the big callused hands on my shoulders push me back, hard. My head slams against the lockers, with green paint that flakes off like dry skin, my vision goes fuzzy for a second, i can’t decide if it was from the hit or the tears threatening my eyes. “A-Alex” i push myself off the locker and carefully place my hand against his stomach, he is as soft as a rock, and look up at him. “w-what happened?”

“What happened?! are you kidding me Cassi?! i know, I. know. everything.” I freeze, could he know about the cuts? Oh god no, maybe he really did mean everything. no, no way never. he shoves my hand off him and comes up and slaps me square on the cheek. “Thought you could get away with it? I heard all about your score with jon baker in the locker room today.” wait what? jon baker, i wanted to throw up as the name rolled off his tongue.

“you don't know the truth.”i look into his eyes and i see the hurt,and the haterage, i suck in a breath, then he blinks and it’s back to his no emotion stone faced self again. “no one does” my voice is so soft and i sound so… broken.

“then tell me” he growls and takes two steps away from me.

“I-I can’t. you have to believe me though.” I feel as if a rusty dagger is getting slowly shoved in me as i watch him turn and walk down the dimly lit hallway. I crumple into a puddle of tears and broken dreams.