against myself

second of a series

I used to think I knew the world

or at least all the things I could

I used to know that I thought deeply

of all these things, it seemed I would

But I can’t remember 

where or when

or what I should’ve done

or who I’ve become

Take me out tonight

ship of fools, they go

and drown, their hearts deny

themselves--they took it in stride

It has been a while

I used to pray like God was listening

now I believe in the truth of nothing

I used to be the glue that kept my friends together

now we don’t talk, and they don’t do s**t

I used to make my parents proud

now I can’t make them believe that I’m okay now

I used to never wake up screaming

but now I've made my bed and I can't fall asleep in it

But I never deserved

a kiss from you

and I ever regret

the things I didn’t do

Take me out tonight

ship of fools, they go

and drown, they stop themselves

their true souls are sinking through holes

It has been a while

I still worry sometimes about the things I can’t control

and I still sleep in a single shell;

If only I'd open myself up, take a peek inside

and maybe I’d see a reason to be alive

Then I’ll ask God why...

It has been a while

Author's Note

This is the second in a series of poems that are inspired by the album "The Devil And God Are Raging Inside Me", by Brand New. It is one of my favorites, and it has a lot of personal worth to me. That album has helped me get through so much. These obviously pale in comparison, but they are meant as just a way to express myself and to be inspired by the music. I hope you all adore them.

<3 <3 Love, Sofia Guerra