Stressed

I feel so stressed
have things built up in my chest
i wanna disappear
i have some fears
that took a hold of me
and wont let me be free
i dont know how long i will last
how strong is my past
i have regrets
that are still killing yet
my fears are losing people i love
i look at the stars above and pray 
that i can find my way
i feel so stressed
i have things built up in my chest
i cant let go 
i dont want to show
my hate
the debate 
that keeps going on
i dont feel very strong
i dont feel like i belong
i dont know where to turn or where to go
i feel my heart beat slow
i feel it crying out for a hand to hold
someone to be bold
to help me out of this mess
to listen to me confess
my mistakes and my sins
but the voices within wont let me show
what i feel and know
but not just anyone can listen to me confess 
only the ones that know me best
and wont judge me for who i am
meaning any ex boyfriends
who dont try but do judge me and who i am
who will use things against me so they can win
i dont want anyone who judges me for who i am
i dont want to lose any friends
i dont want to lose him either
i dont want to lose neither
i only want the ones that truly care
to lend me there ears
and listen to my heart 
from the start i will talk
about the pain and endless walks
on a path that never talks
on a road that led no where
and me trying not to let my heart tear
from the pain that is driving me insane
i just want to get away from it all 
i feel like i will fall if i try 
but i cant escape and i cant even cry
i need to disappear and let go of my fears
be loved and learn to let go
and not show what i am truely feeling inside
or friends and family might leave my side
cuz i am not me anymore i tried
to control my anger and hate
this is another one of those debates
yea i am smiling but inside i am crying
my heart is lying to my brain
i need to end this game
of pain and leave it alone
so i can come home and be stress free
thats where i really want to be