What is Life?

Life is a test for the human soul
when your lost you don't show
the pain you are feeling
the hearts not healing
everyday you are losing meaning
inside and out
you want to shout
but you cant
cuz no one can hear
if you try you grow with fear
will you die alone in pain
will people even remember your name
why do people think these things
does it help bring people to see
all the cruel things 
why do people make others cry
when they say they are by your side
it's a lie or is it real
why do we have feelings why do we feel
why does it matter
its only 1 life
u can end it so simply with a knife
why are humans so easily amused
why can we be so easily abused
you are here and your still breathing
people don't care they are deceiving
one another they don't even care about the other
why do we ask questions in our minds
why do we think about them time after time
is life the reason people are happy
what happens when life gets crappy
people turn very unhappy
when some one is depressed with so much stress
then someone finally comes along
and puts that last straw on your back
that you cant take it
that you finally crack
what happens after that
no one can help you even if they say they can
no one can take the stress that has been built in 
I might let it out I cant win
I cant do this anymore
I hate life it's a bore
I don't get the human mind
I hate that I think about it time and time
I hate that I cant appreciate the good things in life
I hate that people theaten there lives
I cant live up to the exspitations
i hate all these complications
I cant turn to the parents they are the last ones I need
I cant turn to him I don't want him to see me weep
I am going down hill I want to die
but I wont cuz its not worth it
even though I feel like I deserve it
my mom is making me cry the most
I hate that she has most of the control
my dad is better even though he made me cry to
I hate life I want to be through
i was fine with them bitching about the grades 
but not able to go to the field trip
made me cry that day
I couldn't stand having them both pound me to the ground
I hate that I ever stuck around
mom put the straw on my back
that finally made me cracked
I know I cant turn back
I hate that I did
I know its wack 
I know that I promised but I finally cracked 
I cried in school so much today
I don't know why It just came flowing each way
I don't get the reason to live anymore
I want to open the heavens door
don't be worried about me though 
I will come through
all I need is to keep away from them two
cuz you are the people making my life hell
if the grades didn't come out I wouldn't of been going down hill
I'm sorry if I disappointed you again
I'm sorry I am not an A+ student 
cuz if I was you wouldn't be bitching
if I was you wouldn't be missing
the things in my life 
the stress that's inside
the things that I hide
so I wont make others cry
the pain that's within
the feelings that are so dim
I'm sorry I lost again
I hate that you bitched for so long
but told me that I should still be strong
and told me you still love me
I hate that you said that it's a lie
you shouldn't say that u made me cry
for 3 hours and some more
I hate it I want to go through the door
to heaven or to hell 
no one knows I cant tell
I hate that you said its going to be fine
you don't know what I'm feeling inside
even if I told you
you wouldn't understand
cuz if I told you u might get mad
I hate that mom pays attention to the dogs all day
I hate that she gets frustrated at me always
now I have no where to turn
I cant turn to the parents cuz they make me feel like dirt
cant turn to the friends I don't want to get them hurt
I hate that you took everything away
everything I loved at least anyway
I hate that I am caged in this house
I want to be quiet just like a mouse
so I can be invisible so no one can see
I don't want people to be mean
I keep crying where ever I go
I'm so scared to go on home
cuz the house is my cage
that I will live in for the next couple of days
until it might get good again
I highly doubt it cuz I couldn't win
this is the poem that is so long
this is how I feel in this sad short song
if you want it's a poem or song 
but whatever it is this is what is wrong
you pushed me to far that I could go
I cant stand this pain I'm trapped in my home
I feel so alone
next time I will try to open up
I will try not to build things up
I don't want to hurt anyone
please understand I am trying to protect you
my love my friends