The Empitness

Darkness engulfs me
Holds me hostage
At it's mercy
I struggle
Trying to break free
I am unsuccessful
Screams shattered in the blackness
And go nowhere
I am alone
My heart races

Thumping,

Thumping in my chest

The loudest thing I hear

Blind eyes search the emptiness

Invisible tears steam down my face

Everything gone

My family

My friends

My better half

My soul and brain

Knowing nothing

I sit and sob and not hearing myself

I stop

I look around one last time

I awake

Reviews

[I Shred This Cabbage]

so haunting and desolate...great work :)

[Cool Handless Luke]

Dark and forlorn. The ending is ominous. Nice job

[tiffanyrenee]

Thank you :)

[Wolfwind]

You've got a very powerful piece here. It flows strong with emotion and the choice of words give the reader a clear image that enhances the feeling of the piece in my opinion.

Two ?'s

"Blind eyes search the empiness" - Did you mean "emptiness"?
"Invisible tears steam down my face" - Did you use steam on purpose or was it supposed to be stream? Using steam really gives off a unique visual I think. Yet, stream would make more logical sense.

Overall the piece brings to mind the difference between our waking conciousness and our day dreams. Nice ink!

Aaron