bitterly loving

ok so my assignment in lit class was to write a sonnet using iambic pentameter and it has to be about love . . . here it is

Should i compare you to a bitter drink
one that i'd love to have, or so i think
a tough time throughout the many long years
even through so much running of my tears
thinking back to a time without our fears
when we laughed so much and the sky's were clear
when my love for you was so unbounding
everytime we talked it was astounding
i miss the times we had when we were free
the long distance now is just misery
stressing to hear just a few simple words
wishing that we werent in different worlds
oh so much i would love that bitter drink
cause it is of you i will always think

Author's Note

i need all the reviews i can get thnx

Reviews

[harman kour]

"a bitter drink"... liked this a lot! It's a good poem on the whole... but in between the rhyme appears a bit forced... Despite that it's nice! Well Done :)

[Alessander]

Well,this is iambic for the most part, but there were a few lines that weren't, so if ur assignment was to be strictly iambic, u may want to rescan it. U do an excellent job of sticking to 10syllable tho, and of using true rhyme. I esp like the Shakesperean allusion to his famous sonnet "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day". and the line "stressing to hear" - a little wordplay with "stress" and the sonnet.