Writing Ugly

There is something powerful about writing ugly...

Writing pretty, writing pretty… it’s so blissfully easy

After all, plenty of people that exist are more than capable

Of synthesizing the wonders of the world, softly braiding

Concepts that touch each and every heart, so, so palpable

Writing ugly, writing ugly… to me comes so fluently

My rage and unrest as chronic as my headaches

In the flippant, vulgar, and disrespectful, is there beauty?

It’s my incredible life, full of joys laced with heartaches

Writing angrily… this is what pours out of me

Like cave waterfalls after heavy rains

Sweeping away any living thing, mercilessly

This is the response of every muscle in my body

How could I write of beauty when there exists fear

How could I write of beauty when there exists pain

How could I write of beauty when there exists loathing

Living, breathing, it’s all in my being, my soul, in you and me

How could I?

How could I…

You and I, we know beauty, we know it touches us

But, maybe you won’t agree, I see anger as its lost twin

Beauty is born effortlessly, eternal and ancient, it knows not dust

On the other hand, firstborn anger must claw its way up to win

Beauty brings me to tears, anger calls me to act

It calls all of us to do so, in fact

But most importantly, is connection therein

Provoked by anger, then transmuted into beauty comes a force untamed

After the initial, angry burst of water, it’s the flow of it in the cave

Nothing is more infuriating than the pursuit of change

Writing ugly to then write pretty represents a world ideal

One shouldn’t trump the other, is what I’d like to believe

So much boiling blood provokes us, I love what it reveals

Anger opening, then guiding on the path to collective relief

Change is winding, change is unpredictable, at times unreal

Finally, onto the caressing hands of beauty we are bequeathed

Yet I’d somehow like to think that in my anger is close to beauty

Dormant, my end goal, my eternal dream just beyond reach

Because I must be disturbed to ever dream of comfort

Because I must be angry to ever dream of reaching beauty

Because I must write ugly to ever dream of writing pretty

Amadeus the Loveless

April 14, 2023

Author's Note

Hey all! I hope you enjoy reading me, any suggestions are welcome. :)

I used to think it was bad to write "ugly", write about what made my blood boil. In time I acknowledged the power there is in raw writing, even though it's not as timeless as "pretty" writing. I now believe there is something amazing about the ephemeral nature of "ugly" writing!

Thanks again for reading me,

Amadeus x