I Won't Do It Again

I've staggered,
Faltered,
Tripped,
Stumbled.
Yes, I have fallen before.
I have stumped my toe,
Grazed my knees,
And I won't do it again.

Like a child's first steps,
The journey only becomes harder,
Longer,
Less mystifying,
Less satisfying.
Yes, I've walked this road before.
It's the path of struggle,
The path of suffering,
The path of darkness,
And I won't walk it again.

Lessons are learnt
Through failures;
Failures are said
To make us strong;
Strength gives us
A sense of power,
But I've been taught
That power is wrong.
I've had doubts,
I have failed,
I've broken down,
I've had plans.
Yes, I have screwed up,
And I won't do it again.

My face is pale and gaunt
And my tears have turned red.
They trace their way down,
Leaving scarlet trails
Streaking down my cheeks.
They are tears of loneliness,
Tears of fear,
Tears of pain.
Yes, I have cried these tears before
And I won't cry them again