Mumbness

I am numb
My emotions are crowed
Every now and then
A sharp pain rises from my chest
A part of me wants to console myself
To raise my hand to where the pain is
But I choose not to do so
It's a punishment I endure
To have hurt my love

Wish I could know my mistake
Wish I could make it better
Wish I would get another chance
Sometimes life's unpredictably is unbearable
Such are the times when just like that
A lifetime seems way too long 
No reason to have the wind pass through 
Making the chest to rise and fall

Unable to hide this distress
I get asked very often now
' Why do you look so sad?'
I have no other choice than to lie
And to change direction of the conversation
Hoping to have distracted with a fake smile or a laugh

I am in a haze
Unable to see through things
Cannot make sense of my surroundings
Yet I try to make a humongous effort to believe
I too will have my relief
And continue to pray for the sun to shine
So I can be in your Halo of love again
This time, for ever and ever after.