Memories

Dear Emma,

Empty. Empty arms, empty belly, empty, crib. I am left with nothing but my own memories. And of those, there are too few. Kicks in my stomach. Finding out you were a girl. Seeing you wiggle inside me on a screen. And then the day they could no longer find a heartbeat. The day I wouldn’t let them say the words I knew they were going to say. Because once those words were said, they couldn’t be taken back. Because if they didn’t say those words, maybe somehow you were still here. But you weren’t. I remember a birth that ended in silence. And a sweet beautiful baby in my arms, with eyes that would never open. And I am so sorry I couldn’t save you. I remember thinking, maybe, maybe they were wrong. Maybe you'll come out breathing. You were so still in my arms. This is where my memory gets fragmented. Not wanting to take you to the chapel to pray for you. I wish I had. Your Aunt Becky did. I wish I could have held you longer. I wish you were still here with me. I miss you so much. I love you so much. I want my baby.

Reviews

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

So sorry to hear you lost your beautiful baby girl
Life is so hard things happen they say for reasons but not sure if any reasons myself
I pray you will get your child soon
It won’t be her but you will meet her again one day she waits xx this I truly believe and she’ll never forget you xx