Wasting my time

As I sit here passing the time
I often wonder if I'm on your mind
A fraction of the minutes I think of you
Would consume your days and your evenings too
I often wonder if it will ever be
Though I know it wont and its killing me
My heart is torn in an unfixable way
As I wander in a world I wish not to stay
So as I sit here wasting my time
I hope for the best and blow out my mind
Perhaps in the next life I will be blessed
With your hand, your heart, and all of the rest.