Garments

Undo me, my garments are in pain.
Now I must crawl naked to your heart.
Can I not find there a place to lie?
Lovers' kisses linger when they part.
Even so, shall I with you remain.

Life's not flesh, nor does it end with death.
Its force, still radiant, fills each empty place.
Gone the star, the light still strikes the eye;
Gone the flesh, the soul retains its grace.
Your life, your love, your joy--these are my breath.

Reviews

[Pratik]

This poem is soulful! This has one of those unique characteristics where there is a self rhyming in the lines ( though not strictly speaking ).. What I mean is this, there is a kind of music that flows in the lines and the words seem to be singing to each other... May be other people will differ, but this is what I felt the instant I read it.
Coming to the subject matter you have meticulously broached upon the matters of life and love in this piece.. The bones and flesh are truly like garments that we shed upon death; the spirit is eternal and at the heart of this force, lies the power of love - the love that keeps us alive in the hearts of our loved ones, in their memories even after we have embraced death....
I think it's very commendable how you have made an inclusion of these two themes in your poem ( usually one sees poetry that talks about either of the two even though I think they are a part of the same thing) and at the same time kept it compact... This is very beautiful.. Loved your writing and looking forward to read more :)

[paul barton]

not bad

[The Random Writings Of ..]

"Life's not flesh, nor does it end with death", I love this line, this looks beyond what is out there for us, if there is anything, which I do believe there is.
"Gone the flesh, the soul retains it's grace", This brings shivers down my spine. After losing someone close to me, I still feel the soul of that person, miss the soul of that person.
This piece shows emotions and the first line sets it up perfectly. The lose of a love, the questions of finding a place. This is beautiful.
Your last line - "Your life, your love, your joy - these are my breath"
I can relate with this, it speaks to me with such emotions, Thank you.

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing use of the language. I had to read the poem a few times for the strength of each statement.
"Now I must crawl naked to your heart.'
These words are true. We must bare our self nude and fearless when we open the door to love. Welcome to Writer's Cafe. The poem was a pleasure to read.
Coyote

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

Wow! You write with grace and true talent. This is so good!