Garments

Undo me, my garments are in pain.
Now I must crawl naked to your heart.
Can I not find there a place to lie?
Lovers' kisses linger when they part.
Even so, shall I with you remain.

Life's not flesh, nor does it end with death.
Its force, still radiant, fills each empty place.
Gone the star, the light still strikes the eye;
Gone the flesh, the soul retains its grace.
Your life, your love, your joy--these are my breath.

Reviews

[Pratik]

This poem is soulful! This has one of those unique characteristics where there is a self rhyming in the lines ( though not strictly speaking ).. What I mean is this, there is a kind of music that flows in the lines and the words seem to be singing to each other... May be other people will differ, but this is what I felt the instant I read it.
Coming to the subject matter you have meticulously broached upon the matters of life and love in this piece.. The bones and flesh are truly like garments that we shed upon death; the spirit is eternal and at the heart of this force, lies the power of love - the love that keeps us alive in the hearts of our loved ones, in their memories even after we have embraced death....
I think it's very commendable how you have made an inclusion of these two themes in your poem ( usually one sees poetry that talks about either of the two even though I think they are a part of the same thing) and at the same time kept it compact... This is very beautiful.. Loved your writing and looking forward to read more :)

[Sami Khalil]

A splendid read and write. Thank you for sharing , monsieur writer...:)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i really like this piece...and can take it two ways...or at least i do.

it could refer to each time lovers part, as in a long distance relationship..and how the kisses linger...

the flesh isn't there, but the thought of the lover remains..


but it also could be a significant other who has parted this earth...and the spirit and soul of that person still remains with us.

so nicely penned.

jacob

[Sid]

Great metaphorical poem...deep and intriguing!!

[ms. barrie]

beautiful, simple beautiful.... this poem, each line flows, leaving tantalizing kisses that linger, awakens one's senses. this is one of my favorite writes. definitely shelving this, thanks for sharing!

[Cherrie Palmer]

Seeing how the title is Garments, I think it only natural that you begin this poem with the writer needing to find freedom from it confines, and as you work your way through to the end freedom and unity is embraced. I thought it to be clever and well balanced.

P.S. welcome aboard, hope you enjoy your stay here with us.

[Ruth]

Wow...this is metaphorical brilliance!
A pleasure to read this :)

[quinfinn]

great write! deep and soulful...

[David Scott]

Raw, yet fresh and tasteful. Depth without being ponderous. Thank you for sharing. I see why you are a recluse. People can easily hurt the sensitive soul insightful enough to absorb the truths most others glance at with unseeing eyes. Keep risking your own pain by being vulnerable. Beauty and truth will always live beyond the "flesh and bone" and you will be living as the eternal soul you are by sharing your truth.