She

I saw a dark sky in her face
The sun has already set in her eyes,
The stars should've been shine,
I can't find it in her foggy eyes
She smiled and there's a shooting star,
They saw it as a wonderful light,
Didn't know it will crash so hard,
Didn't realize it was already burning inside

In the midnight she cleared her sky,
No star light even a dark cloud,
She felt save in the dark,
She mend her wound with her pieces,
Yet it will only hurt her more

Her tears said it all,
The thoughts she've been hiding for,
Her silence scream it all,
The pain she've been feeling for
She picked her wings up,
But her feet still bleed
Her wings already torn up,
By the thing she really believed


nv
June 2015

Reviews

[dan]

This piece really needs a little more attention paid to grammar, spelling and tenses. One or two is fine but there are so many little errors that it disrupts the flow of the piece. The idea and message would seem to be fine if these were corrected, so don't give up on it. Try to clean it up and you may have yourself a fine write. Good luck. take care...dan

[Not here]

i really loved the first few lines. great descriptions. this was a really good poem. :) going in my library

[Paavana Varma]

A touching piece.The words read like the lyrics to a song! Loved it,thanks for sharing.

[Aphy!]

Sad and emotional piece. Loved the flow of it and it was beautiful and well written. True perfection! Well done.
Aphy

[NV]

That's very kind of you, thankyou!

[B. Boileau]

Sad emotional words that touched a note. beautifully writen

[NV]

I'm glad how people can feel the emotion in a poem. Thankyou,I appreciate it

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful and sad story in the poetry.
"She picked her wings up,
But her feet still bleed
Her wings already torn up,
By the thing she really believed "
The good description create vision and struggle. The poem was honest and direct. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[NV]

Thankyou for your time to read my poems too,I do appreciate it -nv

[Coyote Poetry]

Was my pleasure and you are welcome.