Whiskey Tears

poetry/spoken word

I find solace in the silence

 or do i feel souless in the silence?

pitch black and silent

 the longer I sit still the more I feel violent

 The crickets and the stars my company

I’ve come to terms with the fact the none of them loved me

 your ignorant close minded psyche..

 in your opinion doesn't land you beside me but above me

maybe i'm this way from a father that didn't love me?

Staring at a bottle of jack daniels and it keeps f*****g screaming CHUG ME

 so lovely to drink to that abyss

 just give in and forget

 I can't remember a first kiss

 that wasn't tainted by the taste of whiskey and stale cigarette smoke

 like a comedian I'm the punch line and my own life is the f*****g joke

 So.. light another smoke

 and reflect like the moon on the ocean on a still night

 I just want some god damn respect

 and to fill the empty spot in my chest

 where supposedly a heart once resided

 losing the argument and it was only one sided

doing my damndest… sincerely trying to fight it

 the monkey on my back feels more like a giant

 and it's hard to go to battle with a man...when you like him.

 my confidant.. my bff.. always a liquor store away

 you were supposed to be my friend instead...

 you stole my whole life away

 some of my sins simply cant be forgiven

 the pain that i carry is like a boulder on my back and my spine is ready to give in…

 give out…

 my mind the only thing that keeps that sweet burn from my mouth

 the taste of success is bitter to me without a shot to wash it down

 all the dirt i've done it's a miracle that someone hasn’t done me like a rotten tree and chopped me down

 emotionally damaged

gaskets blown and auto zone is fresh out of parts

 seems to me i'm incapable of distancing myself from the people and things that have torn me apart

how could i still love you?

all you did to me and i still want one last time to wrap my arms around tight and hug you

I spent all that time

and all those drinks

 and all the distraction of spending nights wasted trying to get a piece

 I JUST WANT PEACE

before i'm rip'd casket draped with flowers