a rant about cancer...

something scribbled from the mattress..

Every cough

You’re afraid to look

Will there be blood on my lip

The endless rattle of death

Echoes from your lungs

You try to cough it out

But it stays

At night you panic

Because on your back

Breathing is impossible

You think every breath

May be your last

It causes you to tear up

Your bedroom becomes lonely

And wish for those days

When mother was there

To hold your hand in sickness

You fall asleep from exhaustion

But you awake suddenly

Because you forgot how to breathe

The chemo courses through your veins

There is no amount of morphine

To keep the pain at bay

Radiation has taken

Those long curly locks

The ladies used to love

Running their fingers through

You are weak

And sometimes,

Getting out of bed is harder

Than lifting a truck above your head

You feel sorry for yourself

Because you may never see your kids marry

You may never share another Christmas

With family

But you were the stupid one

Who put that first cigarette to your lips

You were the stupid one

Who kept at it after emphysema

Claimed your grandfather

After it engulfed your mother

You still smoked

And now

You’re not so tough looking

And you begin to bargain

With god

Who you know won’t hear a single word

Because you shunned him

Before all this sickness

So you sit in your own s**t

And wait for death to claim you

Unfortunately….

Death doesn’t want you either

And someone’s prayer out there

Was heard

Because eventually you feel stronger

You can breathe a little deeper

Exhale without a rattle

And blood only comes from your nose

On dry days….

Author's Note

this was something from my days dealing with lung cancer

Reviews

[Quinn Blackburn]

potent visceral piece, Bradley... gritty with emotion, sweaty and tumultuous. I'm grateful we got to keep you awhile longer. Very few people today allow themselves the freedom to be as inspiring as you consistently are in everything you write and share.

[Sel Whiteley]

Such a graphic; powerful and poignant poem and very resonant. Exceptionally heart-rendering and written with such grace and elegance.

[Lily Mae]

Both of my parents dealt with that.. You've penned the emotions involved perfectly. Great write..x

[Chris Smith Welshpoetcs]

Brutally powerful, a great poem.

[Matthew Kult]

One of the hardest things to is watch a once proud man be eaten alive by cancer. It's horrific, and worse than anything i could ever put on this sight. It stays with you, forever.

Regards,

Matthew

[Sameer Ali]

Brilliant, what a feeling! It gives me goose bumps

[emona]

thats powerful

[Bubo]

You have had such a lot to deal with during your life, and you can relay to us the experiences, good and bad, and we learn from you........why do we smoke? Because I am convinced the manufacturer's put in something so addictive that we cannot stop, we make too much money for the government, they don't want us to stop!

[Ashesh]

damn brother! how many roads you been through. when did you get lung cancer? hope you are all well now.

God is remembered only when there is gleam hope to life. you define sickness and the feeling of repent with aptness. but a hopeful end was very calming; gave me the feeling we get looking at new leaves growing in trees during spring.

[brenda]

you had lung cancer? you are so lucky to survived it my grandma dided this year of lung cancer the saddest thing is she never smoked or did nayhting bad god just decided to took her. great poem:)

[Darkbynight]

This is absolutely amazing...sitting in a lonely hospital bed, pouring out your heart onto paper, and you're not sure when you're going to live your last day. The way you've described the pain you're endured is absolutely breathtaking...amazing, and congratulations... :) Added to my library...for sure...:)
Again...AMAZING!