joshua tree...

my happy place...

when i was a boy

of 3 maybe 4

there was a place

i could go

when the tempers flared

outside my bedroom door

when things would break

parents would scream

skin slapping

crunching

cracking

and i would go

just concentrate

escape

first would be blackness

and then the sound of my heart

thump thump, thump thump

loud in my head

then i would open

my mind's eye

and there would be

a yellow field of grass

as far as the eye could see

in the middle of this meadow

a joshua tree sat

offering shade and comfort

i would run out there

on my little legs

leaving the shouting behind

and there i would sit

waiting for the time i could go back

the sun was warm

but i never broke a sweat

and sometimes

those that had died

would sometimes visit

i was safe here

my home away from home

after i became an adult

i couldn't go back there

to the joshua tree in that meadow

only once did i make it

and there was my 5 year old self

how i wanted to hold him

kiss him

and tell him it would be okay

but he said

i didn't belong here anymore

so i left

and since

i can obtain nothing

but my heart beat

thump thump, thump thump...

Author's Note

when i was young, i was sick a lot, and as i sat with a high fever in bed and my parents engaged in some sort of violent domestic interlude...this is where i went...it was weird...

Reviews

[Lovely Lady]

I had a place similar... I went there as I read this... thanks for the memory!
There is a line by Guns'n'Roses....
Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place
Where as a child I'd hide
And pray for the thunder
And the rain
To quietly pass me by...
Your poem has this same quality! and I love it. I will place it on my wall of fame.
~♥~

[Ruth]

A visualisation no less?:) Wow, powerful minds can go to beautiful places love, this was obviously a haven for you at the time!
A brilliantly vivid poem, wouldn't expect anything less! lol
Awesome
xx

[Amber Betty Marie Child..]

ummm and with visits from people who died
who says this wasn't real
kids often experience spiritual occurrences and lose it as they get older
the way its written at least sounds pretty dam real to me

[JelliFyshKissUs]

Everyone needs their place of solitude when it comes to emotional distress. It is sad that as we get older, instead of holding on to that mirage, we wallow in the misery around us. We forget how to escape. Beautiful, Brad.

[Crinkle°]

lovely, lovely! almost unexpected from you, Bradley ;o)

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

oh I understand it well~ down the line a vision of the child we were~ how we wish we had been our own parents~ and we all had a safe place I think~ a place to recreate reality when reality was peppered with too much blood~ beautiful write~my friend~

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

Brad this evoked a myriad of emotions in me.I like how you put so much of yourself in your writes.It is courageous of you.While reading such deeply honest write there is something that changes in the one who reads it.In some strange way one finds solace just as you found underneath the tree,thinking that there is someone else too who suffers or suffered in the same way as you have.Domestic interlude between parents can be very disturbing am example for a vulnerable mind of the growing child.Well written.

[Jonathan De Elvira]

and sometimes

those that had died

would sometimes visit"............cool line there brothah...

Most people had their own special place when they were still a child...
My friends was at the park, my cousin in the basement, mine in the back alley and yours at the tree....

thanks for sharing bro...This write was a good read and meant a lot to me...
I especially loved the last line that said you wanted to hold your younger self but then he shunned you away...very poetic...

[Michael of Gilead]

to touch the safe places one could go when life was a bit simpler...mine always had a lake in it and a dock.

[Miss Coral]

I really liked this- I can relate to it in a lot of ways.
It was difficult reading it in some way, but in another it was refreshing.
It had a great flow, and great undertones of emotion and conflict. The end especially was fantastic.
Excellent write.
-Coral-