First one in a while

This free form I don't really know what I'm doing right now.

How far does it take to fall?

And to fall from what grace?

Really to fall from grace that would mean that you had grace to begin with. I don't think that something like grace is something that really should just be given out.

Fall from sanity?

Perhaps that sounds a bit better. I would like to believe that we all start as sane people. But it's the world that's messed up and takes things away from us. And picks and scraps all that is good in everyone.

YOU DON'T FIT YOU DON'T FIT YOU DON'T FIT YOU DON'T FIT YOU DON'T FIT YOU DON'T

CONFORM CONFORM CONFORM CONFORM CONFORM CONFORM CONFORM CONFORM

iT'S ALL THAT i HEAR iT'S ALL i HEAR iT'S ALL i HEAR iT'S ALL i HEAR

And yet that's something that I'm sure that we fall from

Trying to maintain that edge that light that is me gets drained in all of this. I take a survey to try to explain all that I am. I am just like you. I digest the same things as you. I watch the same shows as you. I listen to the same music as you. And yet it's not enough.
And yet the way I view it so different from you. The way that there was a subtly in this and that. Did you see you that? Did you get that?

Well I didn't either not the first time but this time I did.

Did you have enough time today. Can you give me a minute. Can you give me a sec and help me out there.

No I can't help you out with my time. My time is valuable you have see that. It's not quantitative like you would like to think it is. Believe me on this.  I'm trying to make time for me. I forgot that there was a me in the midst of you.

This is easy isn't it. To recall? To remember how to do something as simple as writing.

Writing remember how fun it used to be. Remember how good you can be. remember when this fun? How did it become a choir. oh now I have to write this is too much.

I do kinda remember but I fell. I fell a long time ago.

I don't remember how I fell or who pushed me. I've always been on the edge.

I fell from something maybe it was grace maybe I had someone once upon time. But I think it was the edges of sanity more than anything and in those moments of slowly clinging to something sane the worst person is that person you see everyday. That person there that doesn't want to change.

That person that says no this is how we are now accept it and don't fight it. You are not like them and you will never be like them. Accept this and move on.

Author's Note

Just trying to write again.