My broken prince charming

I guess I'm the saviour...

My broken price charming

 

Trapped in a tower so high

 

Standing on the window

 

Thinking of trying to fly

 

But I will ride with banner high

 

To catch my beauty when he did fly

 

My knight in rusty armour

 

Trapped in the cellar he cries

 

For his wicked father beat him

 

And his lovely mother died

 

But I will come with blade of steel

 

And cut him from his chain

 

And let my strong arms hold

 

And my soft voice ease his pain.

 

Oh my darling in distress, he walks on slippers of glass

 

And the horrors of his memories

 

They do never pass

 

So come to me my beauty

 

And I will wipe your tear

 

For you are safe my broken prince

 

So long as I am here.

 

 

 

  Winner!

Oct 31, 2015

• if the shoe fits...
• My broken prince charming

Author's Note

I don't know it just came to me.....

Reviews

[BrownRecluse1298]

This is Beautiful! Very creative and heart touching.

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Wow, thanks a million!

[BrownRecluse1298]

:) My pleasure..

[Kerberos]

What a beautiful poem. The transformation of the woman into a hero is wonderfully done. Well written

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Thank you very much!

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Love...crazy it is, yet its beautiful. the things we would do for our loved one. Nice poem. It was great to read this, very well done :)

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Yes it is true :) Thank you!

[Dani The Unreviewed]

You are welcome :)

[closed]

looks like you reversed the fairy tale
nice

very fun POV that made for something rather majestic


-Dream

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Thank you for the kind review Dream!

[Daughter of Darkness]

I think this is really really good! You're very talented.

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Thank you!!!!

[Jamie]

It is flipped from what it normally is. Great work! Passionate too! 😃

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Thank you very much!!

[Lenah Mehzabin]

Loved it ! so much caring a selfless undying love made this poetry awesome!

[Valkyrie Warrior]

I am glad you like it! Thank you for reviewing!

[Heartful5160]

Great piece! You know it's funny how some of our good pieces come from just making them up off of top of our heads. I enjoyed it!

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Thank you very much for the kind review!! Yes I don't think I have ever just sat down and wrote, it always just comes to me.

[Heartful5160]

Exactly. Most of my work comes from sitting at my laptop for hours, but when I just want to get a break from that, I just slip a poem in here about what I'm feeling about love or society. It's great to come up with pieces that just spit out the end of your pens or pencils or like me, my fingertips. Keep writing!

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Totally!!!!! I will!

[Kevin Casin]

I like this. It's interesting how you turned prince charming around and he becomes the one needing saving. Good job!

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Thank you for reviewing :)

[Thyme13]

A great usage of fairy tale tropes into something more meaningful today than Grimm's originals. I felt there was an issue in narrative between the first six lines and then the eighth. I can see where you're going but I feel the second set of allusions is stronger (line eight and past) than the first. using stanza breaks might assist as well, but it might be better to revise the first few lines rather than try to cram it all into one poem. The rhyme was more natural after that division as well.

[Valkyrie Warrior]

I am so sorry but I don't really understand as I am dyslexic.

[Gee]

I'm not dyslexic,and I can't understand the review.perhaps they are trying to say that your poem should be set out so that you are telling the reader about your princes plight,how ,where he is trapped and why and by whom.And then your rescue plan and then how you will keep him safe,comfort him.Because of the standard of your work people tend to forget you are still of very tender years.Keep up the good work

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Ok thank you for your kind words. I am glad I am not the only one who could not understand.