The demon inside

It's true, he's there and he's hungry.

I stood in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection.  I still hadn’t really gotten used to my new red eyes. They had only been red a little while, ever since he arrived. The demon inside me was hungry, he was always hungry. I could suppress the hunger but one night of month, on the new moon, the hunger demand to be sated. I had tried everything to get him out, but he was still there, looking through my eyes, speaking through my lips and killing with my hands. I could hear dad staggering around downstairs. I knew he’d call for me and I would have to go. But what if this time he kills me. The demon inside me writhed, I looked out the window, no moon. Tonight was the night. Dad bellowed for me and I winched, the bruises from last night still fresh on my skin. Kill the demon inside whispered kill. I opened the door and went downstairs. Now dad lays dead on the kitchen floor, blood making a deadly silhouette around his lifeless body. I don’t know, maybe this demon wasn’t such a bad thing after all.       

 

 

 

 

 

2nd

May 13, 2015

• Supernatural creature
• The demon inside

 

 

 

 

6th place

Jan 18, 2015

 

• Stories!!
• The demon inside

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

I have made it horror now thank you all for your help :)

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Mystery or horror? A interesting tale. You gave enough to create situation and bad ending. You left open the door for the who, why, what, where and how of this tale. Thank you for sharing the excellent story.
Coyote

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Thank you. Cool, I curently have it under ficton but if i get enough reviews saying it is a more exact genre then i will change it.

[Coyote Poetry]

Always decision of the writer. Had the option to be in a few places.

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Thanks ;).............................

[Workvio]

Exquisitely dark ... Nicely done ...

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Thank's a lot!

[Mathew Jennings]

hahaha i love it. Really well executed. extremely dark piece that definitely provokes thought.

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Thank you very much!

[Stephanie Baker]

This story is great and I love demons.

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Thank you and me too!

[tess]

A bit confusing toward the end. I would go more into detail about what the demon does to her or just her experiences and how it controls her. Although it does interest the reader whether she's crazy or an actual demon controls her. Great piece I would consider adding more to it! I would defiantly love reading a full page about this!!! (:

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Ok I will take that into account, thanks for the review!

[Stephanie Baker]

Very good piece of work and thanks for entering my
comp :)

[Valkyrie Warrior]

And thank you for reviewing!!

[Steven J. McCarathy]

Just adding blood doesn't make a story scary. Your words need to convey fright, but it would make a thrilling mystery. If you really want to write horror. I suggest you do some research on other horror icons. The best place to start is Alfred Hitchcock, Stephen King, or H P Lovecraft. This is some friendly advice from a horror writer.

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Thank you for the advice Steven, the popular vote was the story genre was Horror so yeah.... but thank you anyway :)
P.S I am not a horror writer

[Steven J. McCarathy]

I see that you like drama maybe you should try writing romance, or poetry. Your Welcome to the advice.

[Valkyrie Warrior]

I do write a tad of romance and a lot o poetry

[Archia]

How creepy. When I started reading I thought it was going to be something about how they wanted the demon out, so I liked how in the end it was different to that. I loved the last line, it just really summed it all up.

[Valkyrie Warrior]

I am glad you like it!

[untimely stories]

this is an awesome story!! great work

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Thank you very much

[Sami Khalil]

Wow. A very good poem on the dark side. Really enjoyed...:).....

[Valkyrie Warrior]

I am so glad you liked it, thank you for the review

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure. Any time...:)....

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Thanks again.

[Sami Khalil]

:):::::::::::::::::::::::::

[C. Lee Battaglia]

This is horror and a mixture of non-fiction. I like it a lot. You should work on this some more... I would like to see where this finishes off.
Keep writing!

C. Lee Battaglia

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Thank you very much

[C. Lee Battaglia]

Your welcome.

[Valkyrie Warrior]

:)........................