Escape!

Where can you run if there's nowhere to run to. Short story.

I lay there and listened to Zavier breathe. His breath rattling off his chest like shutters in the wind.

 I tried to sleep but I couldn't, I kept expecting to see the search lights sweeping the grounds, the mechanic voice calling for us to stand up with our hands behind our heads. I knew Zavier needed help but where could I go, all the hospitals were under Diable control and it was to risky to take him a too a Sorcier. I rolled over trying to get comfortable and then I saw them, maybe three, headed up the hill towards us.

 My heart quickened to an exploding point as I ducked my head leaning over Zavier. "Zavier" I hissed, desperate to wake him up "Zavier, there here, Diables". At the word Diable, Zavier was awake and ready, rolling on to his stomach to survey the situation. "Should we run?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper. I could see there was no way we were going to get out of this. Now that I looked I could see that there were more of them, all along the hillside, surrounding us.

I looked over at Zavier, he was fourteen, to young to go like this. "Dea! I said should we run?" Zavier hissed. 

I knew only one of us was going to make it out of this, so I made the decision.

 "Yes you run, run as fast as you can that way" I whispered, pointing "Really?" asked Zavier. "Yes" I say, wiping tears out of my eyes "Goodbye, Zavier" I said. I saw him rise and run, heard the shout and I saw him go down.

I knew they wouldn't find me now.

I'm sorry.     

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

10th place

Jan 18, 2015

• Stories!!!

 

 

Perfect!

Jan 9, 2015

• Short Stories, None longer than about 400 words

 

 

 

  1st place!!!

Apr 23, 2015

• Something's gone wrong
• Escape!

 

 

Honorable Mention

Jul 26, 2015

 

• Short Story
• Escape!

 

 

4th prize

Sep 1, 2015

 

• FLASH FICTION from The Blue Rose Cafe (TBRC)
• Escape!

 

 

Author's Note

Please ignore grammar problems. Find a list of French words used in the story below.
Diable/Diables = Devil/Devils.
Socier = Witch doctor

Reviews

[C. Rose]

I know you don't want to hear about grammar, but consider at least making paragraphs. It helps the reader not get lost.

The tension builds well and I did not see that emotionally wrought ending coming. Well done.

Congratulations. You have bested me in "Short Short Stories, None longer than about 400 words". How cool would it be if it became common courtesy to review those who placed higher than you in a contest? No one placed higher than you in this contest, but consider paying it forward in the future.

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Wow thank you! I will!

[Coyote Poetry]

The story is very good. Very hard to write a complete tale in so few words. You did. You create good characters, dangerous situation and sad ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent short story.
Coyote

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Man you say the nicest things

[Coyote Poetry]

I like your writing. You know how to use words very well. Sewing thoughts together with skill.

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Wow that's is perhaps the most poetic review I have ever heard!