Canticle

A frightful tale of music and a certain evil that plays to our fears...literally.

Canticle

By

Carlos Lorenzo Estrada 

(A Devil's Song)

A stranger walked into a pub

cloaked in robes of red

As hush fell 'pon the gathered throng

while a midnight wind had fled

It cast away its garments 

stood still and unafraid 

In fear the people cried aloud

and all began to pray

It lept upon the table 

this vile thing I saw

Far from human; not a beast

a creature thin and tall

Naked in its wretchedness 

Leering in disgust 

A grin too big for its face

it licked the air with lust

Upon its long and boney hands

It played a violin 

A song so irredeemable 

forsaken in its sin

Its hooves tapped 'pon the table 

while tail swayed to tune

A melody that played to night

brought darkness to the room 

The crowd entranced within the pub

Waltzed frenzied 'pon the floor 

Controlled by wicked carnel urge

they begged and screamed for more

The Devil did not disappoint 

this rabble in their need

Plucked against the horrid strings

made fingers start to bleed

The eerie sounds that echoed loud

rose high maniacally

As depraved horde fell to the hymn 

of...Mephistopheles

 

Author's Note

Now Charlie Daniels may have won with a fiddling devil but what about the battles Satan has had victories in? Years ago my grandmother was in her kitchen listening to a Spanish station on the radio. I didn't understand what the newscaster was saying because my Spanish is awful. But she proceeded to tell me about a story about a small village in Mexico. There was a wedding celebration occurring and as it started to wind down deep into the night a stranger suddenly appeared and requested a last dance from the bride. She accepted and the handsome man took her hand and led her before the crowd in the town square. They began to dance as all watched in silence. And suddenly mid way both the bride and stranger began to fload into the air. It was then that those in the crowd noticed the man had no feet, but instead hooves like a goat. They screamed in horror and everything went black. When it was bright again the bride was gone along with the odd man. She was never heard from again. That scary story scared the hell out of me when my grandmother told it to me. I don't know if she made it up pretending the Spanish news guy had said that, but it didn't matter because it kept an unruly child quiet for the rest of the day. CLE

Reviews

[Zoe Richardson]

This poem reminds me of the dancing plagues, where people would dance and dance, unable to stop, until their hearts gave out and they died. Noone has been able to explain what caused it, although some believe it was a form of mass hysteria, like the Salem witch trials. Perhaps. Or perhaps it was a song only they could hear, played by something intent on mayhem and death... excellent job with this one!

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you Zoe for sharing your thoughts on this poem. That indeed was one of the inspirations for this poem along with a couple of others. I enjoyed this composition especially submitting it before Halloween. It was my favorite for the entire month. Thank you kindly again. CLE

[Ken e Bujold]

a marvelous story CLE. Your grandmother could have given Marquez a run for his money from the sounds of it.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Oh she was amazing in her storytelling. I often struggle trying to capture her tales in much of my work that is inspired by her. Especially when converting that given knowledge into poetry. She was also an amazing cook making every Hispanic dish from scratch. She had a story for everything including food. She was a marvel and my personal poet. Thank you kindly Ken for your comment.

[Coyote Poetry]

This was amazing. Like a Dante Inferno dance into the Devil's curse. The description was so good. You made the reader see and feel every words. I loved the complete poem. Thank you Carlos for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thanks CP this was a fun Halloween poem. The images had that creepy vibe I was going for. I could only imagine the devil playing his violin for so long that it made everyone in the pub dance until they died. I could only imagine what evil song he would play. CLE

[Coyote Poetry]

I did enjoy and you are welcome Carlos.

[Dave Brown]

very well done
We Canadians don't have a long history to draw these tales from, which makes them, coming from a foreign country seem more believable
But it's possible the Devil might have lost out on this kidnapping.
She may have become a terrible nag leaving him ever less and less time to haunt.
One just never knows

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

I always felt that there is a no more a polite society in the Americas than our brothers to the north. Canada always seems to be the nicest place in this hemisphere. If it had any monsters at all they would be well mannered in my opinion. It's a shame we here in the US can't learn the civility reflected by Canadians up north. Our politics here is more akin to the movie A Clockwork Orange, while Canada its more or less Monty Python which I would trade in a heartbeat. Thank you kindly my friend for sharing your thoughts with me.

[willweb]

Very cool poem and a very cool story from your grandmother. That is enough to scare you to death. Your poem flowed nicely and painted a gruesome picture. Nicely done.

[Neville]

I was led to believe it was a true story .. but then, that's what happens when some clever so and so slips a few acid tabs into the soda syphon during the pre-wedding feast ................... cracking post though mate. Neville

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you Neville for your comment on this poem. I don't know if it is just me but I would think that if the devil ever showed up at an English pub he would be a nice evil creature versus if he appeared here in one of our filthy bars in the USA. An English devil would regale us with Shakespeare poetry while one from here would probably want to have a burping contest. Our devil's are just the worst over here, case in point the exorcist. If that happened in the UK the devil wouldn't be using foul language he would be reciting poetry lol.

[Vertigo Cat1111]

My goodness- I love this and I smiled at your story- not the scary part, lol. I love that you told us the story behind it, it made it so much more intriguing and personal. And the way you wrote this is rather chilling. The descriptions and words. ‘A grin to big for its face,’ ugh! They don’t say the devil’s charms for no reasons. It makes you wonder where the woman was taken… that pub must have something very special about Tim I love your poem so much, because they invite a warmth no matter what there about, I suppose it’s the poet rather than the poem. That would’ve scared me so bad as a kid, too. Thank you for sharing and have a wonderful weekend!

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you VC for sharing your thoughts with me on this poem. This time of year is always my favorite. Not just because of the weather and falling leaves but how it changes everything slowly. Like the world is drifting nimbly to sleep before us. And of course Halloween too. It is a season of change.

[Soren]

Carlos there are innumerable songs about the devil: Sympathy for the devil Rolling Stones, Shout at the devil Motley Crew, Running with the devil Van Halen but your right the most famous is Charlie Daniels The devil went down to Georgia. He seems a rather popular fellow and your poem was great with your typical wonderful storytelling and smooth flow of the lines. Enjoyed it.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you Soren for your thoughts on this poem. All great songs, though I admit I'm a rolling stones fan so sympathy is my favorite jam of them. This poem was a bit fun because I imagine it like an episode of tales from the crypt. Though I would like to give a shout out to the movie Tenacious D and the pick of destiny. CLE

[andrew mitchell]

What a tale Carlos.and an excellent write , well executed.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you Andrew. This time of year always inspires my more darker writing. I love paying homage to Halloween. It's like putting on a costume but in words to celebrate this haunting month. CLE

[andrew mitchell]

Love it. The darker the better!

[Red Brick Keshner]

Frightful tales and songs are the staple of many a childhood and the world over it would seem. Reminds me of la llorona among many others that walled our memories even into adulthood. Guess it's the season for this theme. TFS.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me on this poem. I agree, my grandmother was a superstitious woman who would often weave many of these unusual and strange tales to keep us grand kids in order. Especially folklore from the old country and much like the la llorona. Most of the teenagers like my older brother at the time would laugh them off but I being younger took them very much to heart. Sometimes they still haunt my dreams. Thank you so much again Frederick.