(Addendum: I want to recognize an amazing writer here in the community W. Barrett Munn who helped improve this piece by the addition of an extra verse which I feel made a major impact. Thank you my friend I truly appreciate your valued recommendation and advice. This truly is a wonderful community of amazing writers and friends. ) This haunting little screed was inspired by a dream a few months back. I also feel it deals with the trope that is common in short horror ghost fiction. Where a mother kills her baby and is haunted by her actions. May also speak to postpartum depression. The dream I had was seeing a young girl rocking on a chair holding an empty bundle of a pink blanket in her arms. While outside by her bedroom window is a lone ash tree empty of leaves but covered on every branch with crows. Who are capable of mimicking sound. All of them begin to cry like a baby in unison. I woke up from it in total terror because the screams slowly turned into a wicked devilish cackle. I feel the tale is more ominous and may allude to even more darker unspeakable evils. I can only guess and I feel it's a bit ambiguous to where the readers mind can imagine more to its possibilities. A nice little gothic haunting piece for this dread filled month. CLE
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An awesome and eerie post just perfect for Halloween. Enjoyed the read. ~Sharon
Posted 2 Years Ago
2 Years Ago
Thank you Sharon for your thoughts on this poem. I made a slight change to the piece since your comm.. read moreThank you Sharon for your thoughts on this poem. I made a slight change to the piece since your comment thanks to Winston whose keen eye and advice improved this poem. I feel it's incredibly disturbing and filled with dread, as well as a fine addition to this wonderful spooky month of the year. I love October. CLE
This one reminded me of the Irish legend of the Banshee, a female spirit that visits the homes where a family member is about to die. It makes a wailing sound like the crows of the poem. After reading about your dream, I would recommend no further snacking before bedtime.
Posted 2 Years Ago
2 Years Ago
OMG I'm definitely going to follow your advice my friend. The dream I had scared the living F out o.. read moreOMG I'm definitely going to follow your advice my friend. The dream I had scared the living F out of me for days. I was literally afraid I would see this 18th century girl with dead eyes standing at the foot of my bed holding an empty pink blanket asking if I had seen her baby while a crow by the window Mimics the sound of a crying infant. It's like an old urban legend coming to life. I love October. It really inspires my dark creativity. Oops did my bedroom door just open by itself? Hehe thank you for sharing your thoughts with me JB.
A truly horrifying thought of a mother taking the life of her own child. A chilling read just right for the time of year.
Winston
Posted 2 Years Ago
2 Years Ago
Thank you Winston. I tend to be inspired quite a bit by this time of year. Often times I will pick .. read moreThank you Winston. I tend to be inspired quite a bit by this time of year. Often times I will pick up a book or short story by Poe or Lovecraft to read during this month. Just to set the mood. The dream I had of a winter tree filled with crows mimicking the voice of a crying baby in unison really does haunt me. True fact if I'm not mistaken crows have the ability much like parrots to mimic sounds. Truly the thing of nightmares. I was in the process of writing Amberline as a short story about a little girl who is assaulted by her father and forced to have the child only to accidentally kill it by smothering it to death as a crow hears the haunting last cries of it in death. Then starts the journey into madness as the bird haunts Amberline with the crying voice of her dead baby. A truly wicked tale. But I decided it would work better as a poem that leaves it up to the audience to imagine by hinting and being ambiguous. I joked with someone on a comment below where I said what would scare me most is seeing Amberline at the foot of my bed holding a wrapped up pink empty blanket and saying have you seen my baby? While the sound of a hideous crow mimics a baby crying in the background. It is the stuff of pure horror. I love October. Thank you kindly again my friend.
Spooky or what ................. Perfect for the approaching Halloween which I must admit, I try to avoid :)
Posted 2 Years Ago
2 Years Ago
I love October. It's my favorite time of the year all because of Halloween. The entire month itsel.. read moreI love October. It's my favorite time of the year all because of Halloween. The entire month itself is filled with a lingering dread. Especially because nature prepares itself for winter leaving the days to feel a brooding numbness. And for artists we pick up on this intuitively which reflects in the work we produce during this time. I so enjoy your creepy avatar with the eyeball and fingers poking out of it. That totally defines this month my friend. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me Neville.
A haunting poem, so well narrated dear Carlos. Rich in its spooky imagery and those crows give me the chills. Birds of death I have always thought. I read your poem first before the author's notes. Pleased in a way I did because without your notes I thought the baby died a natural death. With the notes it was even more haunting and tragic. You always give your readers food for thought. This one will stay with me all day.
Chris
Posted 2 Years Ago
2 Years Ago
Thank you so very much for sharing your thoughts with me Chris. I so appreciate it. I've been havin.. read moreThank you so very much for sharing your thoughts with me Chris. I so appreciate it. I've been having difficulty sleeping these passed few months much of it due to stress and anxiety unfortunately. This piece really lingered with me for sometime. The back story really is haunting in many ways. I tried to leave it up to the reader's imagination on why this young girl is haunted so. Perhaps drawing from urban legends that often define such dark fables and ghostly tales. The sliding into utter madness and eventual demise. If I'm not mistaken crows can actually be taught to mimic much like parrots. It sends a chill up my spine imagining one crying like a newborn baby. That would drive anyone to madness. Thank you so much again for your comment. October always inspires my more darker art. CLE
2 Years Ago
Dear Carlos, your darker side creates wonderful inspirational writes, but I do wish you better sleep.. read moreDear Carlos, your darker side creates wonderful inspirational writes, but I do wish you better sleep my friend and less anxiety and stress:)
A chilling tale, related with perfect, graphic imagery! I am reminded of the old song, "Crow On the Cradle." A compelling narrative poem!
Posted 2 Years Ago
2 Years Ago
Thank you kindly for sharing your thoughts with me on this poem. It is indeed a piece filled with d.. read moreThank you kindly for sharing your thoughts with me on this poem. It is indeed a piece filled with dread. I really worked hard in trying to capture the images in my dream that inspired this work. I feel content in what I was able to accomplish. Hopefully I have silenced that dream from ever coming back. And that the poor soul of Amberline is put to rest. I would hate to see her at the foot of my bed holding a bloody blanket asking me if I've seen her baby. October always inspires my dark creative side.
2 Years Ago
Strange what we dream sometimes. I hope this dream does not recur!
“Wailing, wailing, into scream
Murder of crows that haunt my dream “
Whoo! So much prescient and macabre, symbolic and perfect imagery you frighten us with in this poem/dream CLE. The theme is well-expressed. Beautifully rhymed couplets. This haunt lingers…
Posted 2 Years Ago
2 Years Ago
Thank you Annette I still get a bit of the chills thinking about how this poem came to be. Strange f.. read moreThank you Annette I still get a bit of the chills thinking about how this poem came to be. Strange fact crows do actually have the ability to mimic much like parrots. I can't believe to imagine how evil it would sound to hear one mimic a crying baby. That actually sends chills down my spine. Especially if a whole flock of them joined in that would be utter terror to witness. And for this to happen to a mother to accidentally killed her baby would send her into complete madness. This indeed is a dark little poem with a nursery ryhme type cadence. I love spooky October. It can inspire the eerie type art. CLE
2 Years Ago
I didn’t know that about crows Carlos. That is truly a horrific scenario and visual for sure!
Interesting you should write about crows...I dislike them , because they scare all the other birds away...so we bought a "Stuffed Crow" from Amazon, thinking that it would scare the crows away but it didn't work. Anyway your dreams about crows and death; crows are mysterious and scary; ghosts are haunting and I'm amazed you still remember those dreams....your poem is "ghoulish" and great! Poor child!
Best, B
Posted 2 Years Ago
2 Years Ago
It was definitely a scary dream. Just about as bad as the dreams I sometimes have of being boiled al.. read moreIt was definitely a scary dream. Just about as bad as the dreams I sometimes have of being boiled alive in water. Though I can thank my mom for that one. Seems when I was a baby she would bathe me in the sink. This was back about 1965. Anyway the phone rang and she left me alone in the water. I'm sure you can guess what happened next. I used to have these dreams in my youth about being burned. And in certain areas on my body I had discoloration on my skin thinking it was just a birthmark. In my late teens my mom finally admitted to what happened. Still bothers me to this day. Wow I went through a lot of trauma as a child no wonder I'm a mess now in my 50s lol. This little piece though is absolutely ghoulish I must admit. But also a bit of fun to create. Thank you B for sharing your thoughts with me.
2 Years Ago
I have some pretty scary ones too!!! you're very welcome Carlos....
Best, B
If I can say something worth saying that makes just one person think about others...I'll try. The greatest storyteller was my grandmother. I miss her stories. Also, I would like to add to please pay.. more..