Thank you Alishba for your thoughts on this piece. I feel the same about it because of the dance in.. read moreThank you Alishba for your thoughts on this piece. I feel the same about it because of the dance in words. The different images draw me in when I read it. I was hoping it would do the same for the readers as well. I'm glad it resonates a little in people's hearts. Thank you kindly again.
'Where is death...when needed'
hangin with his twin shadow
always there seldom seen close at foot only a thought away
death does not ride the dark horse
it slumbers away the hours until the moment arrives
the gatekeeper if you will
denier of paradise
prerequisite of eternal life
the jokes on you ... this is all there is
as always your writes feed the imagination offering food for thought
Posted 2 Years Ago
2 Years Ago
Thank you Keith. I like what you wrote. I like dark evocative images painted by words. And this is r.. read moreThank you Keith. I like what you wrote. I like dark evocative images painted by words. And this is right up my alley. You should expand on it more and submit it. I think you got the beginning of something unique here. CLE
2 Years Ago
ok ... you asked for it you got it toyota!
post soon to follow
A splendid poem CLE. The imagery, as well as meter and rhyme, harken back to days of old'n time, the great lyrics of Shakey Bill, Blind John, and the melancholy Pope. Really really enjoyed the read. And the killer last couplet is to die for :)
Ken
Posted 2 Years Ago
2 Years Ago
Thank you Ken for sharing your thoughts with me. I love dancing with words and painting evocative i.. read moreThank you Ken for sharing your thoughts with me. I love dancing with words and painting evocative images in the reader's mind. I try in most of my work hitting the senses so that one can feel the texture in the portraits of poetry I write. At times I may be overly effusive, but it is done by intent. I used to only write short stories and it wasn't until coming here to this community did I begin to concentrate on poetry. It is a genre of many styles, and yet I always find myself drawn to ryhme. I find it so endearing to my heart and one that captures the passionate style I seek to emulate. I am in constant evolution as a poet though and hope to touch upon the other aspects of this art form eventually. CLE
After many speculations, an abrupt question: Where is death....when needed? Those in intractable pain or debilitating dementia must ask this question often. For all of the dread inspired by the big sleep, our attitude is yet mixed. A lot of good observations in this one, but in the end, there is only one certainty: It is coming. That said, maybe Marcus Aurelius had the most sensible attitude: Death is but a natural process, and therefore not to be feared.
Posted 2 Years Ago
2 Years Ago
I agree wholeheartedly with that belief about death and its inevitability. We can wax poetic, or no.. read moreI agree wholeheartedly with that belief about death and its inevitability. We can wax poetic, or not, on this subject but in the end it is eventual. And inescapable. One can either face it with a smile, or cry of pure terror. Thank you my friend for your enlightened comment on this poem.
A really fine poem Carlos. I think I might like it even more if somewhere in the body there was a little tension added, a little break in rhythm before the rhythm restarts on into the conclusion.
Winston
Posted 2 Years Ago
2 Years Ago
Thank you Winston for your comment. For the subject this poem is discussing you're probably right. .. read moreThank you Winston for your comment. For the subject this poem is discussing you're probably right. Death is a serious subject that needs added tension to drive the point forward. Not an easy subject to tackle. As I explained to Lisa in the comment below it is an intimate topic that draws from one's experience. I can only explain my perspective from what little of death I've experienced in my life. I feel in all honesty that the short story I wrote called 'In moments" better defined my thoughts about death and its melancholic wonders. Thank you again my friend for your comment.
Oh my goodness Carlos...
Such a difficult topic to write about...when so close to home... I love the divisions you made in your poem..
asking just the right questions and then at the end wanting to know where death was when one needed it. This gave me shivers.
The thing is that your poem came to exist because this hard question is within us all and you were open enough to write it down... I say bravo...
I wrote a poem, Forevermore, about my own death.. not sure if you read it or not...
Lisa, now in Tarragona, Spain..for 5 days
Posted 2 Years Ago
2 Years Ago
Thank you Lisa for your thoughts on this poem. I very much enjoyed your remarkable poem Forevermore.. read moreThank you Lisa for your thoughts on this poem. I very much enjoyed your remarkable poem Forevermore. Death like love is a difficult subject to tackle. I feel both require an intimate knowledge in order to capture profound meaning, and much of the time it is speculative or skewed by our own perspective. My understanding of death comes from holding my father's hand when he passed away. I wrote about it in a short piece called 'In moments'. Perhaps one of the most difficult pieces I ever had to write. When my father died I actually stopped writing for almost 15 years. I found it impossible to dictate the experience I had in that moment. There were no words to explain the feeling of death. Only the emotion of it. Death lingers everywhere I feel. Whether amorphous or in the physical; relationships or flesh. All things eventually have their endings only to possibly evolve into something greater, or better. Death is only quiet change I like to believe. Thank you so much for your thoughts on this poem.
This is wonderful verse. And I enjoyed reading it. I read it over several times. I'm reminded of a Biblical verse, "Death has been swallowed up in victory. Where, O Death, is your victory? Where, O Death, is your sting?” 1 Corinthians 15:55 Your poem searches out the abode and motives of death but not the victory over it. Do any have victory? Is there no balm in Gilead? I like what the poet John Donne wrote about it nearly four centuries ago in his famous poem, "Death Be Not Proud. It's also called Holy Sonnet 10.
Death, Be Not Proud
Death, be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for thou are not so;
For those whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow
Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,
Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee do go,
Rest of their bones, and soul's delivery.
Thou art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell,
And poppy or charms can make us sleep as well
And better than thy stroke; why swell'st thou then?
One short sleep past, we wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.
Posted 2 Years Ago
2 Years Ago
Excellent comment Fabian. I recently read an article on Donne and his work. I so very much enjoyed.. read moreExcellent comment Fabian. I recently read an article on Donne and his work. I so very much enjoyed it and am looking forward to reading more of his poetry. He sure captured death so eloquently in his remarkable poem and had me wishing I could write with as much passion as he. Reading the works of these masterful writers are always an educational experience. They teach us what it takes to ply our craft and respect the art form. Poetry will never die, it is death's equal. When one ceases so will the other. CLE
it was quite an honour to find this Carlos .. it reminded me, not only of my own mortality, but also, of why I first fell in love with this particular art form ................ Neville
Posted 2 Years Ago
2 Years Ago
Thank you kindly Neville for your review. It means a lot. Death is not an easy subject and even wo.. read moreThank you kindly Neville for your review. It means a lot. Death is not an easy subject and even worse to dwell upon for too long. Even for art. But I wanted to write a bit of playfulness on the subject. I may have danced a little too close up to the line hehe. But I'm sure death forgives me. I mean it does tend to have a bit of dark humor to it. Thank you again my friend for sharing your thoughts with me.
If I can say something worth saying that makes just one person think about others...I'll try. The greatest storyteller was my grandmother. I miss her stories. Also, I would like to add to please pay.. more..