In December

An incomplete song written a few years back after listening to a lot of Nirvana and Evanescence at that time. It was a very dark song that made it difficult to finish.

In December 

By

Carlos Lorenzo Estrada 

I cut myself 

Just to feel

Alive.

Let darkness fall 

in this world 

I'll survive.

I don't know how 

I don't know when

The pain will stop,

Or ever end.

It leaves me..

It leaves me..

Feeling this way...

Broken

Scattered 

Empty

Shattered

Lonely 

Hopeless

Fearful

Useless 

Help me I'm falling faster

A shattered piece of alabaster 

Gone is my Porcelain smile

Unrequited love defiled

All these things

I can't remember 

Whenever raindrops fall

In December...

Author's Note

Thank you for taking the time to read this piece. Feel free to comment or leave your thoughts.

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

How frightening and full of despair these words are and yet they are the reality for many who struggle with their emotions on a daily basis. . I have known quite a few young people who cut themselves, simply to feel alive. It is a sad reflection on life today and how difficult it has become for some. Exceptionally expressed. Such beauty in a tragic subject. Wonderful work Carlos. We need far more practitioners in mental health than we have available.


Chris

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

I totally agree Chris. Here in the US there is a rise of teenage suicide. We definitely need to invest more into mental health programs. And I also feel parents need to better monitor their children's internet activity more closely. Perhaps even place limits on it. The internet is just not a healthy place for a child to exist in. These partial song lyrics were even too dark for me to complete as an entire piece. What troubles me more is that they may be relatable and resonate with youth because of its dark undertones. Once being an emotional teen back in the early 80s I actually felt like this. I don't think the kid in me back then could survive in this current world we live in. Thank you for sharing your important vital message on the subject matter in these old written song lyrics of mine.

[AJNJ]

Wow. The pain is so relatable here, dear sir. Your awesome lines have inspired my own lines:

The cuts are blunt
My skin is coldly somber
The pain is stark
Glowing in me as an ember
When love leaves
It burns into me a hell
No raindrops can quell
Weeping my December

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Very nice job I like those additional lyrics. It really fits the tone of the song as a whole. Nice work, indeed.

[mattavelli]

Hello, Carlos! :)
This is lovely. It has the ache I remember from the 90s. Haha
You've inspired me to write a song inspired by my 90s ache. Happy New Year!


Baking in the sunshine,
Cozy in your bed,
hanging from your lifeline
with a raging in your head...
All those scenes of life go streaking past,
the memories gone wrong,
twisted up and and boiling out
the lyrics of your song.

It's only puberty. Everybody feels it.

Now, grab a pencil sweetheart,
dig it in your arm,
pinch the nerves and twist them out
til you can feel no harm...
All the needs that come and go so fast,
the ripping in your brain,
the proof that innocence can't last
to help you go insane.

It's only puberty. Everybody feels it.

And what's the point of being proud
when bowels loose as we die?
what better way than being loud,
in howling raging "why"?
As the meat turns grey beneath your skin
and time's hooks start to tug,
will you be thinking back on when
and mother's tender hug...

it's only puberty. Everybody feels it.

And the changes never stop.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Why are you not posting this on your page, Matt? This is a really nice piece you got here. It totally takes me back to my teenage years and all those damn hormones and endless angst in thoughts. This is a really good piece you should be submitting. I mean it. I appreciate the comment but this is a pretty good damn poem you put here. It deserves a page of its own.

[mattavelli]

Well, the song was born here and really doesn't want to move out until it has enough money for a down payment on a place. It really doesn't want to rent, and pay off someone else's mortgage. Also, and I don't think I'm being overly critical, but maybe your song shouldn't be living on its own either. It said some things that kind of make me worry. Anyway, if you go out, could you pick up some frozen burritos? The fridge is empty and so is my belly.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Sometimes when you love something you just got to let it go. If it loves you back it will return. If it doesn't...get your own damn burritos buddy lol